Lindsay Lohan Archives - Page 47 of 51 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

22

May

I am – Samantha Ronson is Lohan’s Lesbian Cock of the Day

So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

2007

22

May

I am – Samantha Ronson is Lohan's Lesbian Cock of the Day

5 Comments »

So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

2007

16

May

I am – Lohan is a Coke slut and I hate SPAM of the Day

1 Comment »

Is my site Spamming you with popups? I am trying a new advertiser because I need to pay for servers and I have got 5 complaints. If it is happening to enough of you I will take them down ASAP because I fucking hate spammy fucking popups more than you do and even thought I don’t give a fuck about your user experience because I hate you, I do not want that shit polluting my internet home…Trust me.

Speaking of SPAM, here are some more pictures of Lohan doing blow from that video taken in the bathroom….

Here are some pictures of bitch sketching out on her nails. I am not an expert but all the crackwhores I knew used to do this shit when they were either coming off or jonesing more crystal/crack/cocaine/heroin…I’m just sayin…

Here she is partying with L.A. Hipster DJ Steve Aoki in NYC…For those of you who don’t know, Aoki is the asshole who didn’t put DrunkenStepfather on his guestlist when he came to play in Canada with that dude from That 70’s Show…

Posted in:Cocaine|Hipster|Lindsay Lohan|Party|Unsorted

2007

15

May

I am – Lohan is at the Top of the Charts for Maxim’s Top 100 Girls of the Day

59 Comments »

I have been stalking Lohan for about 3 years now. I know that it’s been pretty lazy stalking because I just left her a couple of voicemail messages over the course of those 3 years and emailed random people that she had been in contact with, whether it be producers or hairstylists or girls from her hometown and even though I never got anywhere with her, I am convinced we are connected at the soul.

Unfortunately she is connected at the vagina to ever penis in the fucking industry and connected at the nose to as much cocaine as she can snort and connected at the mouth to booze, but I guess that’s not really unfortunate, because I have never been into sober girls, mainly because they were never into me, and because they want families and kids and all that shit girls who like getting fucked up don’t want and that works for me. But she doesn’t spend enough time on the internet to know who I am and that makes me cry on the inside.

Either way, I have been getting so many emails telling me how much Lohan sucks and how she’s washed up and disgusting because she has herpes and looks like someone smeared shit on her. They tell me how no one’s into her anymore, and how her time in the spotlight is over and that she is just a childstar trying to hang onto the fame as hard as she can. They started throwing Hayden Pannettiere pics my way saying she’s the next big thing and I just stuck it out with Lohan because I am hooked.

So I am happy to say she’s the number 1 girl according to Maxim and Maxim knows girls more than I do because they never pose in photoshoots for me, they usually just give me dirty looks, and being number 1 in Maxim is like winning an Academy Award for a girl, so let’s hope she does it in style, by sucking as much dick as she can, doing as much blow as she can and being as drunk as she can because that’s the kind of Lohan I want to K-Fed.

To see Lohan’s Winning Moment:
GO

To see the rest of the list:
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan|Maxim|Tits|Unsorted

2007

15

May

I am – Lohan is at the Top of the Charts for Maxim's Top 100 Girls of the Day

No Comments »

I have been stalking Lohan for about 3 years now. I know that it’s been pretty lazy stalking because I just left her a couple of voicemail messages over the course of those 3 years and emailed random people that she had been in contact with, whether it be producers or hairstylists or girls from her hometown and even though I never got anywhere with her, I am convinced we are connected at the soul.

Unfortunately she is connected at the vagina to ever penis in the fucking industry and connected at the nose to as much cocaine as she can snort and connected at the mouth to booze, but I guess that’s not really unfortunate, because I have never been into sober girls, mainly because they were never into me, and because they want families and kids and all that shit girls who like getting fucked up don’t want and that works for me. But she doesn’t spend enough time on the internet to know who I am and that makes me cry on the inside.

Either way, I have been getting so many emails telling me how much Lohan sucks and how she’s washed up and disgusting because she has herpes and looks like someone smeared shit on her. They tell me how no one’s into her anymore, and how her time in the spotlight is over and that she is just a childstar trying to hang onto the fame as hard as she can. They started throwing Hayden Pannettiere pics my way saying she’s the next big thing and I just stuck it out with Lohan because I am hooked.

So I am happy to say she’s the number 1 girl according to Maxim and Maxim knows girls more than I do because they never pose in photoshoots for me, they usually just give me dirty looks, and being number 1 in Maxim is like winning an Academy Award for a girl, so let’s hope she does it in style, by sucking as much dick as she can, doing as much blow as she can and being as drunk as she can because that’s the kind of Lohan I want to K-Fed.

To see Lohan’s Winning Moment:
GO

To see the rest of the list:
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan|Maxim|Tits|Unsorted

2007

14

May

I am – Lohan Bikini Nipple Slip Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

I drank too much beer last night and ended up passing out on the floor again, it happens, I was feeling a little overwhelmed with the whole mother’s day thing because my wife kept crying because her daughters went to some nightclub where their thug boyfriends sell drugs on sunday. It’s the place where all the strippers in the city go to party because sunday is the end of the weekend and their purses are filled with money from assholes like us, giving them the opportunity to get wrecked and only have to get naked at the end of the night when they go home with the rich guy who was buying them Grey Goose all night, because strippers are more into wallet fucking because their tits are a business asset to them and not free.

Lohan is a lot like a stripper because she’s shown her cunt, she’s shown her tits, and she’s always in a bikini and makes money from it. I know every fucking site has these up already and every asshole at work is emailing the links to his lame coworkers, but I can’t let those cocksuckers rain on my blogging parade so here they are.

I haven’t decided if Lohan’s really got a slammin body, her ass may be fat but there’s something missing from it, maybe it’s your dick…get it. I have decided that she’s a little fucking whiner with her whole substance abuse bullshit, her life can’t be that bad, bitch is in a new city every fucking week and gets to take time off on the beach to decompress from her hectic life of going to events and fucking models from the UK named Calum Best. If she wants to feel pain she should come sit on my fucking computer for a week writing shit for unappreciative cunts like you, barely making enough money to get a fucking lap dance…yeah that shit leads you into the gutter….so today I hate Lohan for showing off how chill her life is….while I upload pics of the cunt like I fucking care if she’s in a fucking bikini…fuck.

Here’s a link to the Lohan Pictures in the Forum all the celebrity bloggers get their pictures from
GO

Here’s a Link to 119 Pictures HQ and 5 Nip Slip Pictures Download for you Creepy Fucks…
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan|Nipple Slip|Tits|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Celebrities Showing Off Their Tits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala of the Day

2 Comments »

I am all for girls rocking cleavage shirts because I am a pervert and this site has given me a keen eye for spotting nipple slips. I was standing outside a bar, hoping a drunk guy who came out for a cigarette and accidentally drop his wallet the other day, and a group of hot chicks walked out with low cut shirts on, I guess it’s in style to show off your rack and I am not really complaining. One of them conveniently dropped something and when she went to pick it up her shirt dropped and I saw full fucking massive tit, while the other guys next to me missed it. It reminded me of when I was 12 and my foster mother used to come give me talks about God before I went to bed. She’d be in her night gown while I’d be lying in bed. She’d bend over to tuck me in, full tit exposed and I’d totally get a boner and jerk off to it the second she walked out. I always got scared that God was watching me, then I realized that if he was, he was a total pedophile and I might as well give him a good performance, because let’s face it, if I get him to get off when I was 12 only good things would be coming to me….I was wrong…

I am guessing that these celebrities are thinking the same thing, they are advertising their tits at some exclusive black tie event I wasn’t invited to, so that people like us fall into their booby trap…get it..I am so witty and that is good enough for you to start your day to….you’re welcome…

Jessica Simpson May Be Busted But Her Tits are Fucking Huge

Lohan May Be Distracting Us From Her Cocaine Video, But At Least She’s Doing it Properly, this shit will even get Disney to Sign Her Again

Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Full of Milk and That’s Pretty Much What I Wish All My Diet Consisted Of…

Jennifer Garner is Post-Pregancy and Her Tits Have Dried Up, But I’d Still Try To Get the Last Drops Out of Her

Rose McGowan has Always Had Hot Tits

Christina Ricci May Look Old and Beat Up and Her Tits May Have Been Reduced But She’s Still Packin’ Heat.

Scarlett Johannson Still Has Tits and I am Still Lookin’ At Them

Julianne Moore is the First Fire Crotch I Ever Saw in a Movie and Will Always Hold a Warm Place in My Heart for Proving that Myth Isn’t a Myth….

Rosario Dawson’s Tits Look Small But Small Titis are Tits Too…

Juliette Lewis is a Crackhead and Crackheads Don’t Have Tits, But She’s Still Trying…

I Don’t Really Give a Fuck About Mischa Barton But Whatever This is Still Cleavage…

Alicia Keys Has a Hairy Chest, So I Don’t Know If She Counts, But Even Men With Tits Count in Your World, Cuz You Are Desperate…

A few new ones…

I think Ivanka Trump Looks Awesome….I’d wallet-fuck her…

Karolina Kurkova Models Bikinis and I like Bikinis, Especially when they are on me, I feel so pretty…

Gisele isn’t with Victoria’s Secret Anymore, She’s Not a Hot as She Used To Be, But She Has Done A Lot in Her Panties and That Pretty Much Redeems Her….

2007

08

May

I am – Lohan is Obviously a Drug Addicted Party Slut of the Day

3 Comments »

This bitch is slowly starting to look like Chris Farley before he died of a cocaine overdose. She’s bloated as fuck and her face is hanging off. Her eyes have fucked up yellow bags under them and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days. I have slept with crack whores and I know what to look for. I am just hoping this bitch doesn’t die, because I’d have no one else to stalk…

I was walking down the street today and some drunken homeless guy who looked like Lohan was sitting on a city bench screaming for change from people passing by. He even asked me and I looked more homeless than he did. I think it was because he was wearing some kind of old man hat that made him look like a detective while I was just in my regular jogging pants. Anyway, all motherfucker did was sit there and yell and everyone who walked by him and obviously no one was giving him shit. So I took the asshole aside and told him that if he wanted to make some money, all he needed was some kind of act, whether it be a song or a dance or juggling or anything. If people saw him trying, they’d be more inclined to give him cash. The asshole just spat in my face and I am sure gave me some kind of Hepatitis like I was Pam Anderson, but when I walked by him an hour later, he seemed to take my advice. A group of highschool girls were walking by him and he fully dropped his pants and started jerking off for them. They ran away screaming and even though I thought he went a little too far, I was happy to see him make an effort. I think I felt the joy a teacher experiences when their troubled student graduates highschool. or what a coach feels when his weakest player makes his first goal. It was pretty fucking nice…Unlike these pics of Lohan looking haggard and on the verge of death…But I would still K-Fed her if I was cool enough to be her back-up dancer….

2007

06

May

I am – Lohan Cocaine Video Screenshots of the Day

1 Comment »

I am a bad celebrity blogger. I just woke up hungover and don’t remember what happened last night. I just checked my email and someone got their hands on the screenshots of Lohan doing blow video and I didn’t care. I am not 100 percent sure how this isn’t staged, because everyone knows that if you’re famous and doing blow on camera it is going to get out on the internet and millions of people will see it. But who knows, maybe the bitch isn’t trying to stage things for her popularity. Cocaine is cool now, it’s like smoking. Everytime I go to a bar and need to take a shit, I am stuck waiting in line for 10 minutes while 3 or 4 guys go in the stall together. As much as I like to think it was some homo bathroom stall anal sex conference, because I am convinced all chachi motherfuckers are faggots, it’s really just time for them to prove how cool and trendy and in style they are amongst friends, huddled around a bag.

I don’t feel like ripping off the pictures from a message board and uploading the shit. I don’t feel like reading up on what is said during the video, I do know that it will be hitting sometime this week and this is just the PR screenshot teaser to get you all excited about the video to come. It’s pretty basic marketing practices…

Read the whole story and see all the screenshots Here (if you care)

2007

04

May

I am – Lohan Goes to See Britney's Concert of the Day

No Comments »

I decided that I respect the socially awkward losers who make up the internet, because without them the internet wouldn’t exist. I know people who are actually good looking and successful are too busy being good looking and successful to actually read websites so it’s people like you that may be the stain on society but so important to the future of media, because as it turns out there are more socially awkward virgins than good looking people, and that is why we have the internet.

I was on some celebrity forum looking for pics of Britney’s concert in Anaheim last night and came across so many arguments as to whether a nipple slip was real or a fake. I don’t know if the people sitting at home on their computers, creating the nipple slip are creepier than the dude at home who is analyzing the nipple slip and contesting it’s legitimacy. Either way, you’re creepiness is okay by me, as long as you’re not luring teens from myspace to meet you in the park for sex, then it’s not very harmful, maybe just to your changes of becoming successful and less socially awkward.

Anyway, Britney performed at a House of Blues again and one of my loyal internet girlfriends went to the event. She got her tickets off craigslist for hundreds of dollars and when she got to the venue the security made her check her phone and camera so the only person leaking at the event was Britney’s rancid vagina.

My loyal internet girlfriend told me that the experience was amazing, Britney lip synced the whole thing, performed for 15 minutes and gave Lohan a dirty look when she was singing “I See You Looking at Me” and pointed right at Lohan. Sounds kinds psycho to me but that’s all the inside scoop I can handle today….

These are pics of Lohan on her way into the event, looking as good as she gets….

Posted in:Concert|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted

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