SFW Archives - Page 81 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2019

01

Nov

Heidi Klum Kills Halloween of the Day

Heidi Klum is so into Halloween that Amazon gave her a live broadcast, where they rented out a store front in NYC, for people to window shop, or watch her like the zoo exhibit she is, as she got into her weird fucking costume…because people don’t have better things to do than watch Heidi Klum get into her Halloween costume…get a fucking life…

The best joke on her brand deal Halloween collab was from Howie Mandell saying “so no costume this year”…what a dad joker with too much fucking money motherfucker…a reminder that you didn’t need to be a good comic 25 years ago to make it as a comic. If you don’t believe me watch Old Sandler on stage it is bad..but I guess so is new Sandler..

I would have been happier if he said “you should see her pussy”…cuz it doesn’t need a costume or the prosthetics to fit the costume. She’s old, has fucked a lot, has a lot of kids and Seal put it through the fucking wringer with his girth/size…

I guess Heidi is pretending this is for Halloween, but it is really just an extension of the Nazi Germany eugenics program that made her the superior human she is…and this is just research into various technologies for her future host body when they figure out how to download brains…as bodies wear out…and you probably find this hot.

Here is the video:

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Posted in:HeidI Klum|SFW

2019

01

Nov

Halloween Round Up Part 2 of the Day

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Halloween Round is still going on in Canada, at least in Montreal, because the Mayor decided the weather was bad….and that November 1st was a better day for Halloween, playing God or some shit…so I get to see moms in slutty outfits talking their babies out for candy, despite candy being sugar and thus the devil in this organic quinoa celery juice state and more addictive than heroin in this medicated addict state, and full of waste from single use packaging on fun size candy in this environmentally friendly state….and moms in slutty outfits are fun cuz I know they’ve been cummed in….

I assume that bars and clubs and parties are still doing Halloween this weekend, why wouldn’t they milk it…Halloween after halloween cuz girls don’t dress slutty enough on the daily, even though I’ve seen the coffee shop girl’s nips and ass at least 40 times…last week…girls are whores…but this way they can be thematic whores…whores with a pop culture reference beyond “I saw it on instagram”…

So Halloween not deat..here are celebs in Halloween action…

Ashley James

Bella Thorne

Zoey Deutch and Nina Dobrev

Vanessa Hudgens

Stella Hudgens

Sophie Simmons

Sofia Richie

Paige Spiranac

Miley Cyrus

Miley with her new “boyfriend”

Mariah Carey

Madison Beer

Madelaine Petsch

Lottie Moss

Loren Gray

Lais Ribeiro

Kylie Jenner

Kourtney Kardashian

Kim Kardashian as Reese Witherspoon

Jordyn Jones

Jessica Alba

January Jones

Jade Chynoweth

Heidi Klum

Gigi Hadid

Elsa Hosk HOT as Natalie Portman as a stripper in Closer

Elle Fanning

Elizabeth Hurley

Demi Rose

Brie Larson

Ariel Winter

Rita Ora

Karlie Kloss

Kaili Thorne

Hailey Baldwin

Faith Schroder

Charlotte Lawrence

Catherine Zeta Jones

Candice Swanepoel

Beatrice Bouchard

Tana Mongeau

Bella Hadid

$Halloween Bella Hadid$

Stella Maxwell

TO SEE MORE OF THE HALLOWEEN ROUND UP CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Featured Post|SFW

2019

01

Nov

Jessica Biel Bra and Panties of the Day

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Leave it up to Jessica Biel to make bra and panties look so boring…

Pervert dudes who used to watch Seventh Heaven because they are fucking weridos and into shows carried by that patriarchal figure who was charged for being a pedophile, on some epstein was murdered shit and I guess found Biel hot….then she did some “iconic” shoot for Details magazine – back when Men’s Magazine were a thing, cuz Men were a thing, and not queer genderless momma’ boys who drink too many women hormones from all the birth control pills pissed into the tap water….back when Men’s mags were so big, they would start secondary mags like Details…but then the internet happened…and they were slow and Jessica Biel was 18 then…and this was 20 years ago now..so now she’s old as shit…but dudes are still hyped on seeing her half naked…because clearly they haven’t looked at her face…

On the positive side Biel, is that she has been fit for all these years, even after her kid with Timberlake…she likes fitness and her ass has benefitted from that…

I will also say that she played being a Timberlake groupie so cool, that dude didn’t realize she was creepy fan, stan-ing the fuck out of him, waiting for him to comeback from tour, never asking who he fucked, cuz she couldn’t ruin that meal ticket…and I appreciate that kind of dumb bitch loyalty to the wallet she’s fucking…

So here she is old in panties…looking like a zombie…cuz it’s still Halloween in Montreal Canada…

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Posted in:Jessica Biel|SFW

2019

01

Nov

Hailey Baldwin Tits of the Day

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When looking at young bride Hailey Baldwin, who is a self proclaimed Jesus freak, thanks to her dad being one of those addicts who finds GOD in his recovery, so that he feeds it to his kids, who buy into too…but not enough to not be a famewhore money grubber on the internet trying to be famous…

She’s part of the new religious movement, that I guess you can see with Kanye’s instagrammable Church, which he’s doing on an evangelical level cuz it’s tax free money and these people love money, while pretending it’s some higher consciousness shit….that they don’t actually believe since everything about them is shit…

But it works cuz people are empty, even after finding followers, going on free influencer trips, and buying all the latest Kylie color palettes…we are all just miserable shells of humanity…and maybe this god thing will give some insight…

I will say that Baldwin has been about God since before it was a trend, so she’s not a bottom feeder on that…which is why I wonder if she only had anal sex with Justin pre-marriage, like Usher taught him to do, or if they did vaginal…

Is, by the grace of the lord, Hailey Baldwin, an anal queen like the other Jesus girls…

I’d like to know.

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Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|SFW

2019

01

Nov

Girls Dressed as Sydney Sweeney Dressed as Patricia Arquette in True Romance of the Day

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I don’t know what Meta actually means, but you hear idiots say it all the time, along with things like trans not tranny, Safe Space, Triggered, Sex Positive, Believe all Women, Meme, #metoo, and all the other shit we didn’t need that the internet has brought to the surface…because as it turns out – people are bored and angry and now have a place to voice their worthless opinion instead of just off-ing themselves like they would have done pre-internet…

Anyway, Meta is….Girls Dressed as Sydney Sweeney on euphoria, the HBO answer to Riverdale, that is far racier, far darker, far more worthy of watching…..

What makes it meta, I don’t really know what meta is….is that this is from the halloween episode of the show, where Sydney Sweeney is dressed as Patricia Arquette in True Romance….

So these idiots are dressed like Sydney Dressed like Arquette….and are not dressed like Arquette..and that’s just too weird for my brain to wrap around…I get that they’ve probably never seen True Romance or know who Arquette is…but still fucking weird…

Still not as weird as how hot Arquette was compared to what she looks like now…even though her career is fucking killing it now thanks to a series of great roles…though.

Here are the idiots.

Girls Dressed as Sydney Sweeney Dressed as Patricia Arquette

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Posted in:SFW|Sydney Sweeney

2019

01

Nov

Emma Roberts Roller Skating Tits of the day

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I like Emma Roberts…

I think there is something hot about her, mainly that she’s skinny, and stylish….

I think she’s got a good overall vibe, especially when she’s out there getting arrested for beating up her boyfriend like she did all those years ago. It’s funny and passionate. Not that I really know what her overall vibe is. I don’t pay attention to anything these people say or do. I just know she’s been in shit I’ve seen and didn’t annoy me.

I like that her dad is some Oscar winning loser who reminds us of the flaw in the system of acting. You know a fucking loser fail without a pot to piss in after winning an Oscar. A straight to DVD just to pay the mortgage on a shitty house that is probably not in his name….a self involved addict piece of shit who likely disappointed this one her entire life. I just find that adds so much to a girl’s overall personality…that makes them fun to fuck.

I like that her aunt is America’s sweetheart Julia Roberts….and I like that she’s roller skating with her little tits out.

You see not all things need to be negative. Not all things need to mock these famous idiots. Sometimes…things are just good and this is one of those times…

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Posted in:Emma Roberts|SFW

2019

01

Nov

Becky G Slutty Halloween of the Day

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I still don’t know who Becky G is, I guess I could google it but why bother.

I am only posting this because I like her approach to Halloween photoshoots and not just because there is a Luchador mask in it, because my whole branding on this site, not that I’ve done any real branding, but you get what I am saying, has been the Luchador mask, that unfortunately has led to at least one person saying “what do you think you’re jack black or something” or “hey Nacho Libre get your own schtick”…but when Becky G does it…she’s half naked…and thus better…because when girls are half naked, despite how easy it is to do, it works.

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Posted in:Becky G|SFW

2019

01

Nov

Billie Lourd’s Bra Top of the Day

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Here is a lame slutty selfie that is barely slutty of Billie Lourd, who for those of you who don’t know, is Carrie Fisher’s 27 year old Star Wars daughter….that she didn’t really consider when she committed suicide from all the drugs she was on for the last 40 years of of her life.

Carrie Fisher, pre-death, got knocked up by an agent, who I assume is now one of the partners at CAA, the biggest Agency in Hollywood named Brian Lourd, who is rich as fuck for his work as an agent, and who was a closet case back then and figured that his love of Star Wars could override his love for cock….and Carrie Fisher wasn’t always the hot Princess Lea you jacked off to, she got fat and dumpy and dude-like, so it wasn’t such a stretch…and maybe her pussy smelled like an asshole…to soften his dabbling with straight sex blow…sexuality…a weird thing….

Well now their daughter can post slutty selfies like a regular girl, as she builds her profile as an actor, which was hard to do since her dad runs part of fucking Hollywood through his agency…but that’s just how life works…you get born in the right place….a place that by 27 your slutty selfies matter…

Posted in:Billie Lourd|SFW

2019

31

Oct

Slutty Halloween of the Day

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It’s Halloween…the slutty costumes are what you are into today. It is the whole point of Halloween and the basis of the Charlie Brown Halloween cartoon we all watched as kids. They just don’t go into too much detail…but we know.

So whether you are a woman trying to live out the slut life you’ve had in the back of your mind everytime you masturbate, and you’ve been doing YOGA, Pilates and Keto Diet for all these years…and you’re tired of only letting the tinder dates you fuck miserably and get disppointed by…you want to broaden that reach…or if you’re just a straight slut…the slutty version of any costume, with our without butthole, is better than the conventional one…and we’re all here to take advantage of this glorious day, like we have all these years, as the costumes got skimpier and skimpier because girls got sluttier and more into showing off their bodies…

It’s a good time, and we should not divert from watching the girls we know who are only half naked a few times a year…on vacation and on Halloween…and the girls we don’t know who we can tell are in this slut-fit for Halloween and the girls who are half naked everyday, but this time with a theme and purpose…all fucking wins..

So we can talk celeb but celebs aren’t that hot…while slutty costumes are….take them in while I go into diabetic shock eating all this candy…

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Posted in:Halloween|SFW

2019

31

Oct

Sophie Mudd Big Tits and Thats All of the Day

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Sophie Mudd still using her tits to get ahead in life, when you have tits like that, I guess you’re typecast and don’t really need to bother doing anything else.

I mean you could be a self starter who says “I will not let my tits define me” and try to get an education, some work experience, maybe become a doctor, a big titty doctor that no one realizes is big titty until the top comes off after trying to win her over with your charm…only to be rewarded with a gift that is her tits…tits no one else knows she even had…

But why bother, showing the tits in any way you can gets you instagram followers, lots of them, and that allows you to not ever actually work, a better deal.

If you have the option – always choose the slut life.

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Posted in:SFW|Sophie Mudd

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