2009
01
May
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon celebrated their one year anniversary and by looking at the pics I gotta wonder what this is a one year anniversary for, I’m thinking since they decided to train to be professional eaters, but then again it could be for going on an all chocolate diet and I don’t mean that in some clever way cuz Nick Cannon is black, I mean it in the obesity kind of way….
Posted in:Fat|Mariah Carey|Tits
2009
01
May
I realize that as I get older my standards in younger women drop, not that I ever really had standards to begin with, but if you dropped a 300 pound 18 year old off at my doorstep, the kind with herpes from the time she was raped, a rash from the genetic disorder she has, a missing toe from her diabetes and a fucking black boyfriend in her fucking mouth, I’d probably still go down on her, but I am not George Clooney. Sure the girl he’s with isn’t disgusting, but I’d expect better. I’m disappointed in him and that’s all I have to say about that.
Posted in:George Clooney|GF
2009
01
May
Jay-Z was out with Rihanna having dinner, you know since he has sex with her behind Beyonce’s back, while pretending it is for business, when it’s really because Rihanna is fucking hot and Beyonce’s a fucking cow and the paparazzi got excited. Maybe it has to do with Rihanna being this hot news item, or because they are surprised that someone as ugly as weird lookin’ Jay-Z actually gets pussy even though he is one of the richest black men around, it still always shocks and awes, but whatever the reason was, one of them decided to try to crack some jokes to get some reaction out of him and the joke that made that cut was something about Chris Brown originating Swine Flu. You know some Patient Zero bullshit, it would have been funnier if they surprised him by bringing Beyonce and Chris Brown there to cock block him and go nuts on the motherfucker in some kind of caught in the act shit you’d see on Jerry Springer, but I don’t think the paparazzi have those kinds of connections.
Here’s the Craziness Rihanna Causes and the Same Paparazzi Dropping the Same Joke Cuz I Guess he THought It was a Winner
Posted in:Chris Brown|Jay-Z|Paparazzi|Rihanna
2009
01
May
Here is 1998’s Miss Great Britain. She has posed topless with her sister in the past. She dates football players and is trainging to be a WAG and this is her pretty hot body and busted face. I figure I don’t really need to write anything more about her, because I am not really familiar with hot bodies and busted faces, I am more the kid of guy who has stories about busted bodies and busted faces, which really only makes sense, because if you’re ugly to begin with, why bother trying to get yourself some redeeming qualities like a tight ass and flat stomach, you might as well just embrace your fate, give up, and get a low level office job where you’ll work until you die alone one night of a stroke from all the years of hard eating. Give up when it’s meant to be. And that’s what I’m going to do with this post.
Posted in:Hot Body|Leilani Dowding
2009
01
May
I am not in the zone today. It happens but I figure the only way to get inspired is to turn to the virgins because they are pure. So I walked down to my laundry room, where I bumbed into a couple teenage girls smoking and I stripped down to my underwear, put my clothes in the washing machine and walked away, while they laughed at me. I looked down and realized that my little cock was poking out of a massive whole in my shorts, which I guess is funny, but the problem with doing this is that despite being virgins, they had enough sense in them to know that my dick was a fucking joke, so I told them he’s like a turtle hiding in his shell when he gets scared and octoplies when it comes down to business, they weren’t buying it, so I was forced to walk away with my tail between my legs in shame, but I know that my girl Susan Boyle wouldn’t because she’dying for any cock and here’s a video of her singing in her ugly prime.
Posted in:Singing|Susan Boyle
2009
01
May
Hey next craigslist killer…this tranny is for you….only this bitch is too good for you..since she’s from a famous family .but I am posting her anyway to celebrate the hemorrhoid I woke up with today and freaked the fuck out because of. But for some reason I couldn’t help but question what gays do when this kind of medical condition hits them…because I can’t fucking walk…let alone think about sticking things in or out of my ass. It’s hell.
Either way, Alexis Arquette is some tranny with obvious mental issues, like all fucking trannies have because cutting off your fucking dick and living your life as a woman is fucking wierd. So here is some weird gayness goin on in video. It’s not like normal fag shit where they get together, act like teenage girls or get themselves all glammed up and fabulous before fucking each other for days while jacked on Meth/poppers or whatever the trendy gay drugs are these days.
This is some next level uncomfortable gay shit that I figured I’d post because I like feeling uncomfortable when trannies slap fags while talking about God…..and I know you do too….because most straight guys are down with tranny porn…at least that’s what I’ve been told…I just find it weird…
Posted in:Alexis Arquette|Gay|Tranny|Weird
2009
01
May
If you’re wondering why this bitch won that Paris Hilton BFF reality show bullshit, it’s because Paris is shallow, loves herself and needed someone with an uglier face than her to make her feel good about herself.
Now that this girl has had a taste of Paris’ life for about a week before Paris collected her check and moved on with her life and left this cunt on a monthly allowance and D-List status, she’s struggling to stay relevant. She knows that if something doesn’t break soon, it’s back to wherever she came from, leaving hollywood and her TV career as just memories to tell the patrons at the stripclub she’ll be launching her long career at before killing herself after not being able to deal with being such a failure.
Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Ugly
2009
01
May
Star Trek is coming and I’m sure that means that you are too, because Star Trek was the only friend you had growing up. It was the one thing you really connected with and when the internet hit it allowed you to find like minded loser virgins who you could interact with and meet at conventions to hang out with and is really the only reason you ever got married, so in a lot of ways Star Trek, the reason you were such a loser growing up, is the same reason you got pussy in the first place….
Here’s a little Heidi Klum throwin’ up her Virgin Gang Signs….I think that is like the hybrid shocker for girls with fatty assholes…but I am usually wrong about that shit…
Here’s some bad space jokes and others who were at the event….Which is funny because when you used to throw you Star Trek parties the only person who showed up was your stuffed animals and kid sister. I guess they got paid the fuck off, you know trying to take the acne faced, asthmatic, red headed pre-conceived notions of the shit…..
Amanda Bynes was there cuz her legs are out of this world…..
Kristin Cavallari was there because her career is as believable as science fiction….
Tori Spelling was there because her tits are fucking alien….
Hayden Panettiere because she all of her fans are fucking virgin Star Trek People. This is her fuckin’ scene
Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Heidi Klum|Kristin Cavallari|Nicolette Sheridan|Star Trek
2009
01
May
It is Friday. I am hungover. I am not in the mood to post. But when videos like this grandmother showing off her milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard, I can’t help but get excited. I’m talking awkward erection in the middel of this McDonalds excited, making the old ladies drinking their discounted coffee’s because they have nother better to do while waiting to die, blush. Enjoy.
2009
01
May
Someone anonymously sent me the twitter admin panel for Ashton Kutcher’s twitter page. I am guessing this is the backend that has all his information about his account that twitter employees have access too.
I am proud to say that I am one of 8 people he has blocked. That is amazing. Sure it may not do anything for me, but knowing that he went out of his way to make me specifically disappear makes me feel like I’ve made it. Let’s hope Oprah and CNN set up an interview with me to find out why I am one of very few people he couldn’t handle ripping into him. I’ll keep you motherfuckers posted.
I admit I terrorized him a little with comments about his wonky lookin’ twin and his mom’s failed uterus, comments about how his mom’s failed uterus has driven him to Demi’s plastic surgery uterus and comments about fucking Rumer cuz no one else will, but I think the one that put him over the edge is when I called him a joke and not a comedian. Either way, it is the first time I can say I am proud to be in the same box as Perez.
Posted in:Ashton Kutcher|Twitter
