Here’s some Mickey Rourke making out with his girlfriend and by making out I mean giving her a little kiss. Don’t ask me why I am posting it, because I really don’t know, I think at the time I uploaded the pictures because I thought they were funny, but now I am not sure why I thought they were funny, so I guess I’ll keep them up there for those of you who haven’t been able to get his rippling half naked greased up body in The Wrestler. I’m talking to you sexually confused wrestling fan.
You know what the world is missing…more Jim Belushi coverage. I did used to watch that According to Jim bulushit, it was on 3 times a day around 5 years ago when it first hit nd I only had one channel, but I did want to fuck the wife on the show, but that was a different era.
I heard recently that this shit is still on the air, which I found shocking, because it was pretty shitty back then and can only be a lot shittier now, but I guess a lot of blue collar, suburban people can relate. have a hard time believing that anyone would waste their time watching it, and that it’s just hanging on a fucking thread, but I am pretty sure that’s the basis of his career, you know trying to shine in his brother’s shadow.
I guess what I am trying to say is that along with his wife on his show, I’d also fuck his real life wife, so I guess the jokes on us and this motherfucker’s living the life since you can always tell a man’s success by the size of his gut and the tightness of his wife’s body…
I got into conversation with some 18 year old hot chick the other day. She was on the bus reading some US Weekly or InStyle magazine, because in case you didn’t know, 18 year old girls are hooked on this celebrity scandal bullshit, and she was talking to her friend about what the fuck is going on in Josh Duhamel’s mind for marrying Fergie. She couldn’t get why a guy so good lookin would marry a girl so hard who really has nothing hot about her. I chimed in and said because he’s a faggot, loves cock in his mouth and can’t let the world know, so he settled for the closest thing he could find. They laughed awkwardly and changed seats.
The truth is that maybe they are in love, hot girls date ugly guys all the fucking time, maybe Fergie gives the meanest blowjob, you know cuz having been born with a dick she apparently has a first hand knowledge of how to work one.
Sure the tranny shit’s old, but she looks like this bodybuilder stripper who used to do chin ups on stage who I always got lap dances from because no one else wanted her and I can never turn down a deal, even if it makes me question my sexuality, but maybe she’s a nice girl.
Here she is in the green bikini that has been milked pretty hard this week. Something, Josh Duhamel knows all too much about.
So Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls let her big brown nipple out for some air because I guess it was suffocating under her dress, or maybe because the shit stain is so fucking big it’s almost impossible to keep it covered up and letting the world see it is a small trade off for the cleavage that sells her records….I am not one of those people who hates on brown nipples or even brown vaginas, I only find that shit disgusting on white chicks, because you gotta do some serious damage to get a brown pussy, like using a log of frozen dog feces as a dildo or someshit.
Either way, this Scherzinger whore’s good to go, unfortunately it’s not as funny as a massive clit slip, but I’d settle for massive nipple slip, because ultimately, I don’t care and I’m just posting this for you.
When I was growing up I had a poor friend. Dude wasn’t as poor as my family back in Mexico, but he was fucking poor compared to everyone else in my school. He would wear the same jogging suit, he would always smell, he was always greasy and had muddy hands, he was skinny and grey, had black teeth and chain smoked and was only 12. I remember he’d never have school lunches, he’d always beg for my bologna sandwiches and he was fucking angry and annoying as shit.
One day he came to school with a paperbag that was filled with candy. I am talking a paper bag filled with fucking candy and dude carried that thing around like it his life depended on it. No other kids asked for any candy because they were disgusted by him, but he still got nervous if you got close to it as if it would disappear and he’d never get to eat it. By the end of the week, shit was getting tired, the bag was ripped and falling apart, but everywhere he went that fucking bag went with him.
Aubrey O’Day reminds me of that kid. You know going everywhere with her Playboy cover because it’s all she has going for her. She’s beating that shit like a dead horse, or even like a retarded kid who got a trophy for participating in Track and Field who just won’t let it go because he’s retarded and feels so fucking honored and special, despite everyone in the class getting the same fucking trophy. If you know what I mean.
I guess the good news is that she’s doin’ it all with some crazy cleavage and I couldn’t ask for much more from a slut, except for maybe a porn tape, but I’m sure that’s on it’s way….
Here she is talking about herself on Chelsea Lately…
The Hills cast have gone to Hawaii because I guess that’s as deep as the writing staff can go when it comes to writing storylines for this robots. You know as they sit around and try to figure out what more they can do in LA or Vegas or even Miami that they haven’t already done, and since they can’t really exploit this stupid twat Audrina for the pornstar she was meant to be because MTV are all prude and shit, they come up with “let’s send ’em to hawaii” genius. I can only assume they did it in hopes the plane would crash, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking because that would probably mean they’d lose their meaningless job creating meaningless TV staring lazy talentless assholes designed for braindead people.
On a side note, I blame these cunts for the fall of America.
I just found out about this, but apparently Carrie Underwood is dating some Ottawa Senators player named Mike Fisher. Now Ottawa is in Canada, it is a 2 hour drive from where I am and I’m not going to go try to kidnap this bitch because I just don’t care. What I do care about is how funny it is when the jumbotron/tv spot her and she tries to duck and hide in some sort of panic. I haven’t seen that kind of panic since getting caught jerking off to some unsuspecting college girl and her boyfriend fucking when I slipped on the fire esacpe and fell through the window screen with erection in hand. Talk about a bad scene.
I don’t know why these popstar celebrities like hockey players, it’s a fucking fad though. I live in Canada and everyone’s a fucking hockey player and they all look toothless and beat the fuck up, short, bald and seem to do too much coke, stage gangbangs, fuck teenagers, have tons of money and like to be tough guys especially in lockeroom hazings when sodomizing each other with hockeysticks and by hockey sticks I mean their tongues and dicks….not to mention they all speak like fucking backwoods inbred retards from Ontario who have fart parties while hunting caribou or some shit. I’d demonstrate for you, but I don’t have a mic.
She has to do the man’s work, like take out the garbage, fuck with a strap-on, hang the paintings, carry in the groceries and fill the car up with gas, mainly because her boyfriend has a vagina.
Yeah I know you’d think he’d be into hoses, you know with being a fuckin’ poofter who jerks off to hose all day, but the irony in the whole thing is that the only hose he lets near him is the one attached to a high colonic before a long weekend or attached to one of the many faceless men he lets inside him over that same long weekend…
Who knew George Lucas got pussy….here I thought he was like all his Star Wars fan and unintentionally celibate, you know a bi-product of being into aliens and space travel and sci-fi, you know like he was the leader of the pack or some shit. Then I see these pictures of him with his girlfriend and her tits and not only does she have a pussy but that pussy is black pussy. Now that may not seem like an accomplishment to you, but I once heard some black guy talking about how black guys go for any white pussy, you know you can have an oversized sack of shit of a girl that you’d think no one in the world would want to fuck, but as long as she’s white there will be line up of brothers getting in line and taking a fucking number to get down with her, but black girls only go for a handful of white cock and that white cock has got to be pretty fucking substantial, you know rich or huge, or famous, or really good looking because they don’t waste time with average white guys since their penises don’t fit in and shit. I really wonder what attracted to her to him, maybe it was the little piece of movie history that his face is what the Ewok costume was modeled after….maybe he’s got a huge cock…but I’m going with it’s because he’s worth a fucking lot of money.
BONUS – Kelly Pickler also has Jungle Fever and went on a Fashion Show Date with Miss Africa USA proving that Idol Really Opened Her Up to Top Notch Celebrity Friendships….
I guess I am not the only one who thinks Valentine’s Day is a fucking scam. Not to say I’m not a romantic, everyday is Valentine’s Day in my house, like just this past weekend I totally staged a fight with my wife that ended with her tied to a chair with access to four bags of chips and went on a 36 hour bended to try to take advantage of horny, sad, lonely, insecure girls by swooning them with flowers, candy and stuffed toys I got at the Salvation. It obviously didn’t work out for me, but at least I didn’t have to deal with my cunt wife and her heavy breathing that sounds like she’s choking on her chin.
She was pretty mad when I got home, but not as mad as I was when I had to clean up the shit and piss mess she left from soiling herself because I didn’t think through the whole bathroom situation when I left her.
I’m just joking, I didn’t do that, I just ignored her and didn’t answer her calls, but there’s no fun in that, since romance is all about kidnapping and abandoning.
Either way, this video is of some girl getting beat by cops for celebrating Valentine’s Day, a policy I suggest we instill in North America as it will prevent a lot of people from hating themselves and a lot of guys from having to pretend they love the bitch they have a prison sentence with.
