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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Aug

Ali Larter Has Some Hard Nipples in Her Bikini of the Day

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Ali Larter is some Heroes actress you all want to fuck and she’s wearing a bikini. Before Heroes, she was in a whole pile of shitty movies you’ve never seen including some National Lampoon piece of shit called Homo Erectus, where she met her fiance, proving that shitty movies, despite not making money, going straight to DVD and being an embarrassment to an aspiring writer, director or producer’s career, can still bring a lifetime of happiness to some people. Another thing that brings a lifetime of happiness: the bikini, and here she is with her hard nipples in one.

I could go on about how drunk I got, how I almost got in a fight and all the other weirdness that went on this weekend but I have a whole week of writing to do, so I’ll leave you with these pictures and the hope of more things to come for now…..

Posted in:Ali Larter|Bikini|Nipples

2008

Aug

Shauna Sand and Her Whore Heels at the Beach of the Day

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There’s a public pool near my house where families go to get wet during hot summer days and I always see this one chick who I am convinced is a stripper, or was a stripper in her prime. She always walks in with the skimpiest shit on, showing off her fake tacky tits with her half-black baby and she always has a pair of heels on to make her ass look perkier, her legs look longer and thinner and to give the older dudes who happen to be their reason to cheat on their wives with her. She’s clearly on some kind of mission to find love with a man with cash so that she can give her daughter the life she deserves like private school and clothes that aren’t cheap stripper shit she’s forced to share with her mother and her plan hasn’t fully worked out for her, but I am confident that a divorcee who is there one Saturday he’s forced by the court to hang out with his kids while his ex wife has his old house to herself to fuck random dudes in all day long, will fall for her game, and maybe one day he will save her from her poor slut life and take her to the beach on an all inclusive vacation to see if she can actually manage her high heeled whore strut in the sand like she was Shauna Sand….a name that is fitting because, like Jesus walks on water, this bitch can walk on anything as long as she has a pair of her magic whore shoes on to carry her through it. Enjoy.

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Stripper Shoes

2008

Aug

Christina Aguilera Sluts It Up in Dubai of the Day

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Donald Trump opened a building in Dubai because it’s a booming city and dude knows that he might as will cash in on the Arabs and their money, while America is falling to shit. He kept the event classy by bringing Aguilera in to perform because I guess he’s really trying to gently enter the arab market by discreetly polluting it with American trash.

I know all you patriotic fucks are convinced to hate Arabs because you believe they are trying to take down your country and shit, but the way I see it, they are a progressive nation who put a lot of energy in letting women know their place in the world all while the men go out and make mountains of oil money to bring home to their 4 wives who are dressed like ninjas.

They are a force to seriously be reckoned with and if things go their way, your wives and daughters will be coverin’ up which isn’t so bad considering the kind of perverts our culture breeds. I know that if I had my way, I’d be the only one allowed to see my stepdaughter naked.

Either way, here’s Aguilera slutting out in dessert luxury…..

Ivanka Trump Also Showed Up to the Event Because It is Her Inheritance and Retirement Plan…

Hayden Panettiere was also there, wearing an animal print stripper outfit because she’s wild and dangerous and pretty inappropriate considering it is an Arab city that doesn’t really care to see her midget freakshow body and have reason when they throw a sheet at her to cover that boxy body up…..

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Dubai|Hayden Panettiere|Ivanka Trump|Performs

2008

Aug

Sophie Monk and Her Blowjob Stance at the Hair Salon of the Day

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Sophie Monk is a slut proven by this blowjob face you know she’s trying to pass off as a yawn. She’s the kind of girl with dick on her mind, you know trying to figure out who next to hit up to propel her fame to the next level so that she’s as relevant as Paris Hilton. You know her boyfriend’s ex-vagina that he’s dropped her for, giving as all an idea of how shitty Monk actually is in bed, because we all know how shitty Hilton is in bed and I guess she’s just practicing so the same mistake doesn’t happen again. You know I said You Know a lot in this post. I am so crazy when it comes to words. Watch out.

If you’re wondering why her name is tattooed on the back of her neck, I have no idea, but can only assume it’s part of her marketing plan, you know when a girl tells you shit like “don’t forget this face” or “keep my signature because I will become famous and it’ll be worth a lot one day”, only the “remember this name” as you’re pulling on her pony tail and fucking her from behind passive aggressive version….

Either way, watch her get her roots done, cuz she’s no natural blonde.

Posted in:Blowjob|Hair|Sophie Monk

2008

Aug

Heidi Montag and Her Tranny Work Out Music Video of the Day

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I was planning on banning MTV from the site, but forgot about that ban when uploading these pictures of Heidi Montag in some workout gear leotards from American Apparel for her new video that reminds me of some kind of themed Frat Party where all the brothers of the fraternity get dressed up like they were Olivia Newton John in some kind of lame attempt to get laid that ends up working because girls are idiots.

By the looks of these pictures, this sluts biggest lie isn’t her entire life or the fact that she’s into Jesus and a virgin, or that she’s actually famous, it’s that she’s actually got a fuckin’ dick and her birth name is really Charlie.

I was the biggest fan of the American Apparel leotard and it’s ability to touch pussy, ass and tits at the same time, but over the course of time, shit’s become too fuckin’ popular and played out and when bitches like Heidi Montag start rockin’ the shit, you know that it’s pretty much over. RIP Motherfucker.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Leotard|Tranny

2008

Aug

Michelle Trachtenberg Dresses Like a Fat Version of Her Boyfriend of the Day

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There was a time when Michelle Trachtenberg was the kind of Jewish girl I’d be willing to have sex with provided the opportunity arose and she was eager to piss off her parents by having sex with an old, fat, poor Mexican like so many teenage Jewish girls before her. I never sat around wondering what it would be like to climb her little jew leg to her jewish womb, but didn’t mind lookin’ at her do her thing.

That was before she ate one too many Kanishes and her hips went the way of her grandmothers’ after escaping the holocaust and finding happiness in America (the land of opportunity), making babies and hoarding as much food as possible both in her stomach and in her cupboards to be better prepared to deal with the fear of another bout with the starvation that comes with the genocide of her religion.

The truth is that her fat little jew legs and wide set jew hips that don’t balance out her little skinny jew head aren’t really what throw me off in these pics, it’s the fact that she’s wearing the same outfit as the dude she’s fuckin’ like they were on a cattle car to Auchwitz in their state issued uniform that does.

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Posted in:Fat|Michelle Trachtenberg|Shopping

2008

Aug

Minnie Driver is Pregnant in a Bikini of the Day

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I had an argument with a friend of mine about whether pregnant chicks are sexy. I was arguing that it is nice to see a girl doing what she’s supposed to in a generation where they think they have the right to be doctors and lawyers and career women, and a lot of chicks seem to be neglecting that they are built to make babies not make money, and he was arguing that it is creepy like she’s got an alien growing inside her and in the event he ever got a girl pregnant, he’d join the army to not have to deal with the pressure of her trying to fuck him while she’s all hormonal and bloated.

I guess these Minnie Driver pictures don’t really prove either side of the equation considering she wasn’t hot before she was pregnant ad sure as hell isn’t hot while pregnant, but she’s wearing a bikini and that’s good enough for me to overlook things like disgusting growths inside her disgusting, cum filled pregnant body.

Posted in:Bikini|Minnie Driver|Pregnant

2008

Aug

Shannen Doherty Looks Asian at the 90210 Premiere of the Day

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I guess with the Olympics ending yesterday and the whole Asian taking over the world reports, Shannen Doherty figured that the botched plastic surgery she got that made her look like some kind of haggard Yoko Ono, wasn’t so bad. She figures that if this 90210 revival doesn’t work out, there will always be Chinese people who are just getting bootlegged 90210 box sets now, to hire her to attend their corporate events or even cast her to play some kind of American slut in one of their shitty soap operas you always see the woman working your local convenience store watching. The wold is a big place and there’s still hope that Shannen Doherty can get it together and really make a name for herself, even if it is in a new market and her commitment to that comes through strong with her new Asian face. I think it’s funny that you used to jerk off to this bitch and that’s pretty much the only reason I am posting these pictures….

Posted in:90210|Asian|Shannen Doherty

2008

Aug

Paris Hilton’s Dressed Like a Cheap Stripper for a Launch Party of the Day

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Paris Hilton is reportedly single because I guess the rich rockstar she was dating doesn’t have to follow the herpes life sentence rule the rest of us follow and that is that when you land the shit, you stay locked down to the bitch who gave it to you, or the bitch you gave it to 6-8 weeks after a wild night raw doggin’ a stripper and polluting your girlfriend of the time who you cheated on, even though sex with strippers is never considered cheating where I am from, it’s just buying yourself something that feels good like when a girl goes to the salon to get her hair and nails done.

So Paris is back to her old ways, wearing annoying stripper like outfits that have her name printed on them, like some kind of reminder of what we are dealing with because I guess she doesn’t realize that no matter how hard we try to forget her, we just can’t seem to pull it off because her annoying face always manages to surface because the media still loves her and so do you.

Posted in:Launch Party|Paris Hilton

2008

Aug

Sienna Miller is on a Yacht in a Bikini of the Day

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So Sienna Miller and her homewrecking self was out on a yacht in a bikini the other day. I know she’s usually a little more liberal about her tits and lets them out every chance she gets but even the oldest, sloppiest and digusting nudist has to put their pants on sometimes. I am not really feelin the whole Sienna Miller thing right now, I went through a phase where I liked her skinny, cokeslut, partying ways because she looked like she took loads on her face, didn’t shower and didn’t believe in condoms, but like everything, good things come to an end and I am bored of her.

What I am not bored of is the life of luxury she’s livin’ and have decided that I want the same kind of lifestyle and just haven’t figured out how to pull it off, but I guess like anything, it’s best to start with an attitude. Just the other day, a woman was raising money or Filipino kids and was standing outside a pharmacy asking for anything I could give. You know, trying to make me feel guilty by showing me a picture of some starving kid who looked like it had a better lifestyle than me, so I told her that I don’t mind helping out because it feels like I am investing in my future house keeper. She didn’t laugh, but I still gave her a dollar so I feel it was my right to be an asshole. It was like I paid for the opportunity to be an asshole. So if you don’t want to deal with pricks, don’t approach random homeless lookin people asking for money for a stupid cause.

Either way, I save lives and Sienna Miller wears bikinis on yachts and here are the pics.

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Posted in:Bikini|Sienna Miller|Yacht