I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

13

Jun

Kirstie Alley’s Eating Reminds Me of Sex With My Wife of the Day

These pictures of Kirstie Alley eating remind me of sex with my wife, because the closest thing we do to sex with each other is eat chocolate cake together, which counts because she loves it so much she moans and grunts like she’s having an amazing orgasm, last week she even squirted but I think that was her pissing because she was too lazy to walk to the bathroom. Guess who had to clean it up? That’s right no one did because we are slobs.

Posted in:Eating|Kirstie Alley

2008

13

Jun

Jessica Biel Has Man Underwear on Because She’s a Man of the Day

I know that these are not underwear a man should be caught dead in unless he has no clean underwear and is forced to wear a pair of his wife’s since she’s the same size as him, like in my case, but once you put any underwear on Jessica Biel it automatically turns into man underwear because it’s covering her little penis.

I saw Boys Don’t Cry, I know how this shit works and I also know that she’s doing a good job convincing the world that Justin Timberlake isn’t a faggot because she dresses like a girl and has pretty much saved his career while helping you keep your man fantasies hidden as you jerk off to her pretending to not know what’s really goin on, so I guess in a lot of ways this bitch is a hero.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Underwear

2008

13

Jun

Bai Ling on the Beach of the Day

Bai Ling is consistently weird. Not as weird as the dude I saw walking his dog with his feet because he had no arms, but still pretty fucking weird. Here she is in a bathrobe at the beach in what I assume is a photoshoot that I guess people care enough about her to take, or that she paid to get done, but that doesn’t negate the fact that you want to fuck her.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Beach

2008

13

Jun

Stifler Fucked Jessica Simpson of the Day

Stifler from American Pie gets asked about why Nick Lachey hates him in some interview and says because he fucked Jessica Simpson, I am assuming it went down when they were shooting Dukes of Hazard because otherwise I don’t see why Jessica Simpson would hang out with him, but it is possible that he told her that he was Brad Pitt or some shit, because I heard that’s the line the craft services dude used and she gave him a rim job and Johnny Knoxville go up in her because he told her that he was Elvis.

She’s probably the easiest girl to manipulate into the bedroom even when married and that just proves that you should never marry a virgin or someone who claims to be a virgin because they are either a slut hiding the truth or a slut in the making who hasn’t had a taste yet and once you give her one, she goes crazy.

I don’t know if Jessica Simpson was married to Nick Lachey for any other reason than rockin’ a TV show with him to help take both of their careers to a new Christian level and considering Nick Lachey is a poofter and likes cock not slot, I don’t really see why he’d give a shit about who she fucks but apparently he does, it must be because he has been crushing on Stifler for years and Jessica totally knew it and still went out and fucked him, knowing it would devestate Nick because life is not fair, but on the positive side of things, at least now his masturbation fantasies of Stifler can be set to Jessica’s inside scoop and description of Stifler’s dick, instead of to the pictures Nick made of Stiffler and him by cropping their faces onto hardcore gay porn pics.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Sex|Stifler|Uncategorized

2008

13

Jun

Three Year Old Shaking Her Money Maker of the Day

I don’t know if you’re ever too young to booty dance, but this video makes me wonder even though I think it’s just a harmless video of a 3 year old. But I do remember going to some free concert last summer and saw a group of 11 year olds pulling their shirts up and grinding each other and that’s something I blamed on hormones in the food, hip hop videos, Paris Hilton and slutty parents who taught these girls their moves when they should have been teaching them about the God or playing with dolls.

Maybe the parents are just opportunists and figure that if their kids start young, they grow up to be the best stripper in the club, or will have an easier time getting knocked up by a rich dude or fucking her way to the top, kinda like how my friend put his kid in soccer hoping dude would go pro and fuck Victoria Beckham when he grows up because the dad never had the chance to live the dream, but now can do it vicariously. I am hung over.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

12

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

I walked into a bar last night and some asshole hit his friend a bunch of times like he saw a fucking celebrity and I was scared I had been outed, not because I have an ego but because I am scared this site is going to get me shot. Either way, dude turns to his friend and says “Dude, the Mexican Peter Jackson just walked in, go ask for his autograph” and they started roaring with laughter, and at that moment, I wanted to pull a muder suicide, because being called Peter Jackson is pretty humiliating and worth killing yourself over, but there would be something unsettling about not taking the cocksuckers who thought it was the funniest shit of the night down with me.

Instead of doing anything about it, I just drank more beer and tried to convince a lesbian couple to prove to me that they were lesbians by rubbing their cunts together instead of holding hands like a couple fags because we aren’t in grade school anymore. It didn’t work.

Either way, I keep trying to scale down the sites I surf and decide to post here, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I am convinced that one day, I will not spend my day dicking around online and I will do something productive with my time, but until then, here’s the biggest yet most luxurious link dump on the internet that is easier to post than to do posts about all the craziness going on.

Here are the links:

Attention Seeking Club Sluts Here
GO

Lohan Kisses a Boy On Set Cuz She’s Not a Lesbian
GO

To Catch a Super Predator – The Thing
GO

Not to Sure Who Paloma Fiuza, But I would Like to Get to Know Her Hot Brazilian Ass
GO

Pam Anderson Still Has Fans I Guess
GO

Kate Moss Has Pokies
GO

Top 10 Racist Celebrity Moments Caught on Camera
GO

Kate Moss is Fat in Berlin With a Short Skirt and Low Cut Shirt….
GO

Amazing Japanese Taxi Prank
GO

Pania Rose Gives Boners to the Poor and By Poor I Mean You…
GO

News Reporter O-Faces
GO

Three Year Old Children Are Stupid
GO

Sondra Barker is Delicious
GO

Mariah Carey is a Greedy Fucking Bitch
GO

Eva Longoria Isn’t Pregnant – Who Cares.
GO

Strip Las Vegas is Everything it Sounds Like
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

A World Where Skaters Land All Their Tricks Is Not a World I Want to Live In
GO

When Megan Met Misty
GO

Ellen is Quite Naughty
GO

Best Friend Mirror Masturbation
GO

Lohan Gets Her Pregnancy On for Her New Movie
GO

Some Foreign Filth
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Charlize Naked in GQ
GO

One in Four New Yorkers has Genital Herpes, You Know Who You Are…
GO

The Red Cross Have a Pretty Disgusting Fucking Ad
GO

Here’s a Guide to Geting laid in China
GO

Amateur Bottle Fuck
GO

Cleavage, Cleavage, Cleavage!
GO

Naked Bowling Looks Amazing
GO

A Review of the New Metallica Album You Aren’t llowed to Read
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Read This Interview With Pete Wentz Because You Find Her Really Cute
GO

The Best Shit from Harriet Carter
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Some Really Hot Israeli Actress Named Raz Shapira Beach Voyeur Video
GO

Get Your Dad a Teddy Babes Doll For Father’s Day – She’ll Keep Him Nice and Warm When Your Mom’s Out Fucking the Neighbor
GO

Some Dude Tried to Trade His Wife for Celtic Tickets. I’d Trade My Wife for an Old Pair of Sneakers That Have No Laces and Aren’t in My Size
GO

How to Get Away With Cheating on Your Significant Other….
GO

Teen Sleepover Turns into a Sex Party
GO

The Beauty of Hep C is You Can Only Catch it Once
GO

Enjoy Ashley Simpson’s Pregnant Tits with Me
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Peek-a- Boobies with Christina Milian
GO

Striptease of the Day – MILF Edition
GO

Old Habits Die Hard for Britney Spears
GO

Thainee Has a Hot Body
GO

Lovely Lovely Ass
GO

This Urban Nudist Chick Is Onto Something I Like
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Grid Girls Make the Race Fun
GO

How to Hide Your Erection
GO

Victoria Valmer Plays with a Hose
GO

Some Chick Named Zooey is Ugly For Letterman
GO

Gemma Atkinson Red Bikini Throwback
GO

Kirsten Dunst Looks Kind of Hot, and By Kind of Hot I Mean Not Disgusting Like She Usually Does
GO

Fox News is Racist
GO

The Bikini Effect Makes Men Impulsive
GO

Jolene Blalock is Tasty
GO

Can Someone Explain to Me What the Fuck is Going on Here?
GO

Some Pretty Decent Self-Shots
GO

Felicia Taylor Nude Pics
GO

Get Your Cyber Pimp On With Some Cyber Whores
GO

Spy Cam in the Washroom Kind of Grosses Me Out, But Whatever
GO

Keep You Chick on a Leash Literally
GO

Lesbians Get it On Exclusively in This Feature
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Mexican Chick and Her Erotic Panty Pics
GO

Some Dot Not Feather Porn
GO

BONUS – Web Sluts You Know You Can Count On
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

12

Jun

The Tatu Lesbians Perform in their Panties of the Day

Comments Off on The Tatu Lesbians Perform in their Panties of the Day

Lesbians are so popular today that I figured I’d post these probably old pictures of TATU, the leaders of the lesbian movement who aren’t even lesbians and actually have husbands and babies but like all college girls, realized dyking out gets publicity and publicity sells records and selling records means no more Russian rationed bread.

If only homosexuality worked out as well for you, but I guess since you just hate chicks and have repressed homosexual fantasies and jerk off to the dick in porn and not the chick but are too scared to come to terms with and live out, that doesn’t really make you gay…right?

Keep tellin’ yourself that homo.

Posted in:Lesbians|Panties|Tatu

2008

12

Jun

Phoebe Price has Some More Staged Bikini Pictures of the Day

Phoebe Price is still trying to ride the wave of finally making it onto the cover of some tabloid for having the most disgusting cellulite ridden legs, only this time she’s hired a photographer who does some touch-ups, I guess she’s finally realized the less clothes she wears the more people care about her and by people I mean me, because I encourage girls coming to terms with this obvious concept, even if they’re doing it about 25 years too late.

I remember when I was hanging out at an old folks home for kicks and I started talking to this crazy senile bitch who had a pretty stacked body for an old lady and she knew it because all the dudes in the home all tried to get up in her. She loved the attention and would play it up and when I suggested a Geriatric Wet T-Shirt contest she was the first one in line. Unfortunately, she drowned. I am just kidding, we got stopped before the fun went down and I was asked to never step food in the home again because my kind of volunteering is not one they appreciate, but I’ll never forget that little heartbreaker who was a literal heartbreaker because she killed at least more than one dude in her seductive, big breasted, cock teasing antics.

Posted in:Bikini|Phoebe Price

2008

12

Jun

Heidi Montag’s is Uglier With Less Make Up On of the Day

Heidi Montag doesn’t realize that she’s fucking ugly and that the only thing she should be taking off of her is her top so that she can use it to cover up her scary fucking face, but instead she’s decided to take off some make-up and try to give us a taste a more natural Montag and all I know is that it tastes like shit.

Whoever told her that she’s a natural beauty needs to be issued a restraining order to not get within 50 yards of any farm animals, and Heidi needs to be given a restraining order to not be allowed within 50 yards of any living creature unless she’s wearing a fucking mask, because she’s ugly.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Ugly

2008

12

Jun

Mariah Carey and Her Assistant Tend to Her Cunty Sore Back of the Day

It’s so typical that the half white girl would treat the all black husband as her fucking slave because white people are the devil. It makes things worse when you’re a younger dude and your wife is some kind of diva bitch who things the world works for her, making you the first officer in serving her cunt self.

These are pictures of Mariah Carey’s old weathered body beat up on set because she probably had to swim a lap, or throw a volleyball and now bitch is crying like she broke something because that’s why cunty spoiled brats do. The good news for her is that her bitch, fulltime personal assistant and husband is there to help her out, because it’s not like he’s got his own shit to do.

This job would be like winning the fuckin’ lottery after signing an agreement with the devil, taking you out of your poverty ridden shithole life, and bringing you to the life of luxury with the woman you lusted after when you were a teenager, and it all sounds pretty good, but within a year, you’ll be hanging from the rafters in your attic of your multi-million dollar home after killing youself because you just can’t take her shit anymore, so getting up into this shit when you’ve got your own money and hot younger bitches lined up is beyond me, but maybe Nick Cannon is a good little black kid who respects and serves his woman cuz his mom was an over-bearing Jesus freak in the projects.

I really don’t know, but I do know that his life with Mariah, despite all the superficial goodness seems like it’s just the worst job of his career and every minute of it fuckin’ sucks, even when jerking off to her while she’s asleep because she’s too tired doing nothing all day to put out.

Posted in:Back|Mariah Carey|Towel