Unsorted Archives - Page 139 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

24

May

I am – Heidi Montag Bikini Pics of the Day

So this is some bitch I’ve never really heard of because I am not really into the whole MTV thing since I don’t have cable, and even if I did have cable I would probably be watching Discovery to learn how things are built or TLC to watch the Baby Story show. It turns out that one of my friend’s from the park just found out his recent mail order bride is pregnant and that they will be having their first baby in 9 months from now. So I’d like to use this site to say congratulations and good fucking luck ever making it back to the park when you’re too busy changing diapers and shit. You life as it was is over, but that’s not a bad thing because drinking on a park bench with a bunch of losers isn’t really living anyway.

A congratulations goes out to this couple too because it turns out that this breast implanted Varsity Cheerleading Squad Captain lookin’ stripper and her boyfriend who looks like some dick named Blair who is the Varisty Tennis Team Captain just got engaged. It’s like one of those obnoxious blue blooded engagements you see in the movies where the Prom Queen and KIng live happily ever after or some shit. Lucky for us, this isn’t a movie, and the chances of him sticking it out with her are pretty fucking slim, because her fake tits or not she still looks like a horse….and tits are only a fun distraction when your ugly girlfriend gets them and for the first 6 months of her having them and then the novelty wears off.

It’s like when you got your first Nintendo you could really only handle Mario and Duck Hunt for so fucking long before you had to beat up and steal from the fat kid at school who was an only child and who had every game ever made because his parents felt guilty for not giving him a friend to play with and compensated by giving him toys….

Let’s hope that daddy goes bankrupt, boyfriend leaves her and that she can’t land work and is forced to turn to stripping because her fake tits were like a business expense that made her pretty qualified for the job..

2007

24

May

I am – Lohan Drunk at Some Party With Aoki of the Day

37 Comments »

I was sent this pictures from someone claiming they were of Lohan wasted Sunday night at LAX where she was drinking right out of the bottle with her lesbian cock Samantha Ronson . I am not 100 percent if these pictures were taken on Sunday night, because I can’t tell the fucking difference between all these Lohan partying pics it’s like it’s her fulltime job and she pretty much looks the same in all of them, which is not naked enough for me.

I used to go out drinking in bars every day of the week, you get caught up in it because you get drunk and drunk is fun and when you wake up the next day destroyed the only cure is to start drinking again. It comes to a point where you only feel normal when there is booze in your system and that can’t be a healthy thing.

I remember not being able to go to the post office or to a coffee shop without having had a drink because it takes the edge off, it took me at least 2 years of trying to pull of menial chores in public sober and I am not getting preachy here, I am just saying that this shit will catch up with Lohan in the next few years and bitch is going to be fucking damaged. She already looks like she’s in her mid 20s which may be a good thing when you get carded at clubs since she is underage, but when she is in her mid 20s she’s going to look 40…and her liver and vagina will be shot….

I’m just saying, I am not the healthiest fuck but if I could change anything about my life it would be that I took up jogging instead of hard drinking, even though it’d be a lot less fun for you assholes….but I’d be so jacked on endorphines, I wouldn’t give a fuck what you people think….

Posted in:Drunk|Hipster|Lindsay Lohan|Party|Unsorted

2007

24

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

I am pretty fucking sick and that’s ok. I haven’t smoked a cigar in 3 days because of it and that’s not ok. I did drink a case of beer today and that was ok. I also met a mexican girl at a mexican restaurant who is in town for 5 months who was hot and that was ok. I didn’t see her naked and that wasn’t ok. I walked to the park and girls were in bikinis and that was ok. They got mad when they caught me staring and that was ok. I did my links in a drunken and sick stupor and I am sure they are ok. Tell your friends about the site because it would help me get traffic….

I also had all kinds of interesting things to write about in this post, but thanks to the alcohol, I can’t remember any of it. I am sure it will come back to me eventually. Cuddles.

Funny Urban Sport…Knock and Don’t Run
GO

Caprice Showing Some Tit in Some Crazy Dress
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Britney Out in Shorts and No Bra
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Nicole Richie Talks About the Male Erogenous Zones and Giving Rim Jobs and Fingering Ass Based on DJ AM’s Gay Adventure
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Asia Argento is a Lesbian
GO

Pam Anderson Panty Upskirt in Cannes
GO

The Hottest Sopranos Mistresses…
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Photobucket Big Boob Video
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Crazy Crackhead Blowjob – Very NSFW
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Last Night’s Party Peeing
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Britney Binger In June 2007 Playboy – Naked
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Photobucket Bra on the Outside Dance
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Rosie and The Bitch from Survivor Have a Massive Fight Cuz She Supports Bush…
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Then Alicia Silverstone Snubbed Her…AMAZING
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Some Scientologist Flips the Fuck Out
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Lame in the Club Big Tit Dance
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Amy Winehouse on the Set of her Video
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Hugh Hefner May Be a Dad Again
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Some Slut Named Gianna
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Jessica Simpson May Be Prengnat out of Wedlock, Bad Christian
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Hayden Panettiere is a Video Blogger and Looks Old
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Amazing Butter Prank 1
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Amazing Butter Prank 2
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Lohan’s Birthday is Sponsored By a Vodka Company
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Fat Guy Gets All The Laughs
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Nicole Richie is in Rehab
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Natalie Portman is Dating the Guy Who Wrote the Natalie Portman Rap
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Michael Moore’s New Movie Trailer
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Some Sarah Silverman Impersonator Dancing Video
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Victoria Beckham Goes to Sex Shop
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Alba Walks Dog WIth Hard Nipples
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Some Chick Named Sammie Rhodes Posing
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Gastric Bypass The Aftermath…
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Hot Tits…Well More of a Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Howard Stern Measures Catherine Bell’s TIts
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This is why people think bloggers are losers…
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Hot Photobucket Chick Posing and Showing a Little Nip
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Photobucket Chick Trying on a Bikini or Something Like That
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Nice Implants
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You need to learn how to attract women – This will work
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Samaire Armstrong’s Gotta Be Knocked Up of the Day

1 Comment »

Samaire Armstrong is hiding her stomach like she just hit up the snack bar harder than her man banged her without a condom because people in Hollywood don’t use condoms even when they are on the lowest wrung of the fame ladder and their only real claim to fame was a stint on the OC that lasted a couple of episodes. That said, I am pretty sure that she’s preggers and decided to keep the baby, unlike her Hollywood counterparts who opt for the in home abortion, like Lohan since it is the most effective form of birth control…

Either way, I think it’s funny when people make their insecurities so obvious. I was walking down the street today and came across a woman in a white tank top with no bra and erect nipples. I wouldn’t have even noticed her, because when I leave my house I don’t really notice anything. But she kept trying to awkwardly cover her tits as much as she could as she talked to a woman, but ended up drawing more attention to her tits than she should have….which wasn’t a good thing, considering she was in her 60s, not that that would ever stop you.

Posted in:Pregnant|Samaire Armstrong|The OC|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Samaire Armstrong's Gotta Be Knocked Up of the Day

1 Comment »

Samaire Armstrong is hiding her stomach like she just hit up the snack bar harder than her man banged her without a condom because people in Hollywood don’t use condoms even when they are on the lowest wrung of the fame ladder and their only real claim to fame was a stint on the OC that lasted a couple of episodes. That said, I am pretty sure that she’s preggers and decided to keep the baby, unlike her Hollywood counterparts who opt for the in home abortion, like Lohan since it is the most effective form of birth control…

Either way, I think it’s funny when people make their insecurities so obvious. I was walking down the street today and came across a woman in a white tank top with no bra and erect nipples. I wouldn’t have even noticed her, because when I leave my house I don’t really notice anything. But she kept trying to awkwardly cover her tits as much as she could as she talked to a woman, but ended up drawing more attention to her tits than she should have….which wasn’t a good thing, considering she was in her 60s, not that that would ever stop you.

Posted in:Pregnant|Samaire Armstrong|The OC|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Minnie Driver’s Stupid Bra of the Day

18 Comments »

Iâ€™m all for women wearing see through clothing because see through clothing is the closest thing to naked. I never understood dudes who would say that they find girls in clothing hotter than when they get naked, because when they are naked you see everything and it’s very clinical, whereas when they are clothed it leaves everything up to the imagination. I was never one of those guys. The more naked the better for me, even when the bitch is like that busted old pick-up truck rotting away in your backyard. But I am not interested in her wearing a see through shirt in attempts to tease me into her pants. I live by the philosophy of if you’re infront of me naked I’ll do it, but if you’re trying to be sexy in spandex or lace, I am not going to try to get you naked, I am just going to laugh at you.

My wife doesnâ€™t agree. Last summer, she dragged me to her family reunion that was at some welfare park on the lake. I wasnâ€™t interested in going, but with the free booze, food and teens in bikinis. We get to the lake, and my fat whore of a wife decides to reaveal her new bathing suit to the whole fucking family. Now bitch is 350 pounds and they don’t make bathing suits her size so when she put the mother fucking thing on it stretched out so much the thing turned see through. I am talking every thread on that fucking thing was doing all it fucking could to support the heavy load, so everyone in the family got to see what I get to see every fucking night…..and they weren’t too impressed, I think her brother left the party with his 3 kids because of it….

Point of the story is, if you are fat, if you are ugly, if you have never had many sober guys try to sleep with you, the whole less is more does not apply to you. Hereâ€™s some shots of Mini Driver in her bra and some see-through shirt action….

Posted in:Bra|Minnie Driver|See Through|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Minnie Driver's Stupid Bra of the Day

No Comments »

I’m all for women wearing see through clothing because see through clothing is the closest thing to naked. I never understood dudes who would say that they find girls in clothing hotter than when they get naked, because when they are naked you see everything and it’s very clinical, whereas when they are clothed it leaves everything up to the imagination. I was never one of those guys. The more naked the better for me, even when the bitch is like that busted old pick-up truck rotting away in your backyard. But I am not interested in her wearing a see through shirt in attempts to tease me into her pants. I live by the philosophy of if you’re infront of me naked I’ll do it, but if you’re trying to be sexy in spandex or lace, I am not going to try to get you naked, I am just going to laugh at you.

My wife doesn’t agree. Last summer, she dragged me to her family reunion that was at some welfare park on the lake. I wasn’t interested in going, but with the free booze, food and teens in bikinis. We get to the lake, and my fat whore of a wife decides to reaveal her new bathing suit to the whole fucking family. Now bitch is 350 pounds and they don’t make bathing suits her size so when she put the mother fucking thing on it stretched out so much the thing turned see through. I am talking every thread on that fucking thing was doing all it fucking could to support the heavy load, so everyone in the family got to see what I get to see every fucking night…..and they weren’t too impressed, I think her brother left the party with his 3 kids because of it….

Point of the story is, if you are fat, if you are ugly, if you have never had many sober guys try to sleep with you, the whole less is more does not apply to you. Here’s some shots of Mini Driver in her bra and some see-through shirt action….

Posted in:Bra|Minnie Driver|See Through|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Sharon Stone Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

The last time I saw a 50 year old in a bathing suit was when I worked at the YMCA for a week before getting fired for walking in the women’s locker room by accident at rush hour. The problem with my plan to walk into the women’s locker room to see all the younger and hotter pieces of ass that worked out there was that I didn’t think things through properly. If I had been working there a little longer before making my move into voyeur janitor, I would have figured out that all the young tight bodied women who go to the YMCA show up in their workout gear and leave in their workout gear. The only people who get naked and stay naked for an hour while getting ready are the chicks with white pubic hair. They are also the ones who took the aquarobics class and would slowly make their way to the pool to play in the shallow end strutting their stuff like their very own Baywatch….

Now Sharon Stone may not be in an aquarobics class and she may not looks like a senior citizen yet, but her ass does and that’s all that really matters to me.

2007

23

May

I am – Martina Hingis Throwback Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

Fuck, since I am on this Eastern European kick, I figured I’d post these Martina Hingis pics from 2 years ago. She’s in a bikini and letting the world know that female athletes have about as much sex appeal as my dick. No wonder girls don’t like sports and are more into sipping cocktails, wallet fucking and doing pills to stopping eating to get in shape. Muscle tone makes for no tits and testosterone development and testosterone makes for clits the size of a man’s thumb, at least it’s something to suck on that’s not gay….

I may have already written the story of the day the little league baseball coach taught me that steroids make a woman’s clit grows to the size of a man’s thumb, he had a mustache and filled every stereotype and cliche a baseball coach with a mustache could and telling a 10 year old about clits is a little fucking creepy and added fuel to the molester profile, but he never touched me inappropriately he just told me dirty stories. I am glad that I wasn’t a very good looking kid or very good at baseball and that I wasn’t invited to his MVP parties that I was so mad I wasn’t invited to at the time, but in retrospect I am so happy that I was just a young Mexican who couldn’t speak the language or play the sport….

That said, Communism makes for good Athletes with strong militant coaches who don’t molest the athletes because they are too busy pushing them to win. Communism also makes for great mail order brides…after seeing these pics, I think I’ll stick to the mail order brides….

Posted in:Athlete|Bikini|Martina Hingis|Tennis|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova’s Ass at a Photoshoot of the Day

1 Comment »

I had no choice but to post these, I was thinking about passing out on the floor but this fucking picture kept eating away at my brain like my wife eats away at a family pack of chicken wings in one fucking sitting. I don’t mean to be always busting my wife’s ass, it turns out that even supermodels have cellulite. I am guessing that this Communist went a little crazy when she realized that she could buy as many boxes of donuts as she wanted, but reality is she’s pretty fuckin’ slammin’ and cellulite or not, I’d love to rub my balls on her, because with a limp dick that’s pretty much all I can do.

I did read my comments though, and saw that you are all complaining about me repeating myself, or something, I think this site stays fresh and I am constantly looking for more substance than the average nipple slip, cleavage shot, vagina slip, bikini pic, see-through shirt. My pictures are up to date and I make an effort to tell different stories depending on how inspired I get.

I am not justifying myself, or crying like a little bitch about negative feedback, I just think you are fucked in the head to think of this site as any more repetitive than anything else out there. So go and tell your friends, because my traffic is fucking dying. That said, I already linked to these pictures in my stepLINKS earlier…

Now you can look at this girl at some photoshoot in spandex. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|Model|Photoshoot|Unsorted

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