DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day

Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day

Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day

Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day

Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2009

Apr

Kate Moss Shows Off Some Leg of the Day

No Comments »

I have always loved Kate Moss, whether she is high on drugs, pregnant, fucking dirty musicians who have obviously used dirty needles while shooting up and who are obviously having unprotected sex with her, and I’m not sure why. Maybe I like the fact that she likes to get fucked up, or that she was skinny and had long enough legs to get an easy fuckin’ ride that gave her a lot of free time to get fucked up. Maybe it’s got to do with her having a kid that you never see her with, because she’s a deadbeat mother and I respect a woman who doesn’t let her baggage get in the way of her getting fucked up, but I really can’t put my finger on it, I assume all it really has to do with is the fact that she has a vagina and I am a fan of vagina.

Here are some pictures of her hiding in bush and almost showing her bush…because girls who like to get fucked up as much as she does are never fully bald. Like the street whore I met warming up in some seedy stripclub, you could tell by her moves that she was an ex-dancing major, maybe even a back-up dancer in some 90s band, who couldn’t get work as a professional dancer, but did find a love for smoking crack and being wasted all the fucking time, who had a fucking pillow in her panties that made me want to throw up, because we all know how hygenic crackwhores are, but equally intrigued me….and made me hungry….when I say I have no standards or self respect…I mean it…

This dude’s got the better shots of the upskirt that I can’t post because I don’t want to get sued….The Law is not my friend….

See The Kate Moss Upskirt:
GO

Posted in:Kate Moss|Leg

2009

Apr

Amazing Stripper Named “Beautiful” Attacks Another Stripper of the Day

1 Comment »

Here’s a funny newstory. It’s about a stripper who beat another stripper with one of her Shauna Sand whore shoes. The fact that it made it on the local news is pretty funny to me, because I am sure these strippers have fights all the fucking time, you know with being drug addicted, catty girls, fighting each other for 10 dollar dances amongst the patrons. It’s a fuckin’ recession people, you gotta step up your game if you wanna pay your rent and buy your half black kid the Nike’s he wants.

Speaking of black kids, here’s a girl fight outside the Rick Ross record release party and in case you don’t know – I love Rick Ross…I also love black girls…especially when the animal instinct comes out in them and I get to see their big ol’ asses.

Posted in:Attack|Fight|Shoe Fetish|Stripper

2009

Apr

Anna Faris Isn’t So Hot of the Day

4 Comments »

I feel like these pictures of Anna Faris chick in a onesie are only hot to severe pedophiles. I am not talking the 20 year olds who are fucking 16 year olds. I am talking the serious pedophiles who fuck babies like they were in South Africa trying to cure themselves of AIDS .

I know she plays the hot chick in all these movies, which brings up a serious topic you should all start debating, and that is that there are hardly any real hot girls in Hollywood, most really hot girls are in small towns, satisfied, because they have nothing to really prove, since they’ve always been hot.

For the most part, Hollywood just has all these insecure cunts trying to get validation that they are worth something, maybe because daddy never hugged them, or their first love cheated on them, or because they were fat and the loser in high school but knowing deep down that they were better and more important than they got credit for, and now they can walk by all the haters, with their noses in the air like the snobs they always wanted to be, because it’s a slow day and the paparazzi snapped some pics of them.

It’s okay for them to think they are better than me, because it isn’t saying much, the homeless man who I paid 2 dollars to see his cock is better than me, he at least knows how to make a dollar….

Posted in:Anna Faris|Ugly

2009

Apr

Some Fan Begging Justin For an Autograph of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t know what’s funnier, seeing Justin Timberlake ignore a fan, or that fact that the fan is not a teenage girl, but a grown man, begging and crying like I do everytime I try to get a girl to have sex with me, all for a fucking autograph. I mean, I like to think there’s more to it than just the autograph, maybe dude has a crush on Justin and thinks he’s got a chance with him, you know with that high singing voice and broad shouldered girlfriend, the boundaries are definitely grey….I guess I could write more, but why bother, I’d rather move onto the next waste of time post, are you okay with that ? Not that I really care what you are okay with….

Posted in:autograph|Justin Timberlake

2009

Apr

Linda Hogan is a Washed-Up of the Day

19 Comments »

I want to rape linda hogan, not because she’s hot, but to teach her a lesson for producing the garbage kids that managed to crawl out of that pussy. I guess it wouldn’t be anything this tranny lookin, overdone whore isn’t used to, I mean I hear before getting her pussy beat up by Hulk in the bedroom, she spent a lot of time as a street whore, I mean that’s the only real explanation I have for that haggard fucking face. I guess the biggest joke in all this is that her boyfriend is a 19 year old gay dude, because anal is the only sex she can still have, because no penis is quite big enough to touch her big ol’ vagina walls, and it doesn’t fuck with his homosexuality, because her pussy looks like a set of balls if you get her in the right position.

Posted in:Linda Hogan|Whore

2009

Apr

Slutty Kids Dancing Video of the Day

2 Comments »

Everyone knows that B-More revolutionized party music and are the reason hip hop’s gone electro, but there’s some other shit going down in Baltimore that I don’t know if it’s a trend, but it is pretty fucking dirty and that’s a group of 14 year olds dirty fucking dancing in some skimpy fucking clothes. Now I don’t know if that ass shakin’ in the video is on an ass that belongs to a 14 year old, but I do know seeing some punk kid getting grinded hard, will probably lower your self esteem because you have never had that kind of swagger in your life and I like to post it to remind you that you suck at life and have less game than a fuckin’ kid.

Either way, this video is not that big of a deal, it’s just dancing, and 14 year old whores have been getting pregnant since the beginning of time, but I’m sure the white folk out there are going to be offended and think it’s fucked enough to start sending letters into Oprah to do a show on this shit, but I think she already has.

Who cares, the world is more sexualized, we’re all gonna die of Aids, but at least girls are the fucking prudes they used to be.

Posted in:Dirty Dancing|kids

2009

Apr

Denise Richards and Her Funbags for Funny or Die of the Day

3 Comments »

Denise Richards’ Funbags from Denise Richards

I hate 99% of FunnyorDie’s content. I hate the people I meet who love the shit. I hate the type of comedy it promotes and the type of copycat amateurs it has created. If you ever come across someone who starts bragging about being on featured on FunnyorDie, you will realize why.

I hate 95% of anything Will Farrell has been touched, except maybe Old School, Anchorman and a couple of highclass escorts he’s been involved in, but in my defense, I haven’t seen those since they came out and I’ve been drunk the past couple of decades, so maybe I just saw them on a good day. I do know that I recently saw the skating movie and I was begging for a plane to crash into the building like it was 9/11. Seriously that fucking bad.

I hate the word funbag. It reminds me of college jocks, slappin’ dicks in excitement for the hot set of tits they saw on this broad at Spring Break, you know the one drunk and based out that they gang raped.

So natural, I hate this Denise Richards funny or die clip about her funbags…

Posted in:Denise Richards|Funbags|Funny or Die

2009

Apr

Audrina for PETA of the Day

5 Comments »

Audrina was asked to do a PETA ad half naked, I guess PETA takes anyone they can get, but I like to think it’s because she seems to be as receptive as a dog, with her glassed over confused eyes, tilting her head trying to understand the sounds coming out of her friend’s mouths, because sometimes words are hard to make sense of, or some shit.

Either way, she’s promoting people save a dog instead of buying from a breeder, because I guess PETA feels sorry for the secondhand, second rate dogs.

Now I am a fan of dogs, in fact, I like dogs more than I like people, and I do find buying from a breeder a obnoxious, but at least you know what you are getting. I am not down with puppy mills but I am also not down with taking on other people’s problems, or half handicap amputee dogs that smell.

I like my dogs like I like my women, virginal. I like to be the one to make them scared of men, or to be the reason they are missing limbs, I don’t need other people to do the damage for me and leave me with the fuckin’ aftermath.

Either way, the only think cute in this picture is the fear in her dog’s eyes…

Here she is at the launch of the ad, because I guess people like useless parties for useless projects useless people are involved in. What a waste of money….Good times.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|PETA

2009

Apr

Amy Winehouse is Still on the Beach of the Day

3 Comments »

The good news is that my favorite celebrity, the one famous girl I can honestly say is the caliber woman I am used to, is still in the Caribbean showing off her hot bikini body.

The bad new is that she’s not showing off the replacement vagina on her leg. That shit turned me on. Maybe I’m desensitized by all the nudity I see that I can only get off to vaginas in obscure places…like in my freezer….

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini

2009

Apr

Bree Olson Talks About How She Likes to Fuck of the Day

3 Comments »

After posting some topless pictures of Bree Olson that a friend of mine took in her hotel room during the AVN awards in Vegas because he’s got the in with the pornstars and wanted me to tell the world that he’s better than you, not that we needed to tell you that anyone is better than you. I mean, I could have said I had a friend with pancreatic cancer who just filed for bankrupcy, his wife left him for his best friend and cancer doctor who was in the process of saving his life, and now he’s torn whether to continue treatments or just kill himself and you’d be envious of him because a woman actually married him, even though she’s a fat cheating cunt.

Either way, some dude sent this video in of Bree talking at some conference about how she likes dirty sex, getting her faced shoved in the toilet, you know keeping it classy and making her parents proud, because I guess she thinks the more hardcore you go, the more relevant you are in the industry, or maybe it’s because she’s so desensitized that it’s the only way to go. I just know I don’t find it hot, but you probably will, so watch it.

Go Vote in some Contest all the Pornstars are Going Nuts Over
GO