I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

05

Feb

The Black Lips Get Kicked Out of India of the Day


I don’t know if you have you ever heard of the band The Black Lips. I have no idea how popular they are, but I do know that I went to one of their shows around 2 years ago and they were fucking amazing. Sure I had done a little too much bathtub GHB and drank as much as I usually do, that usually leads to blacking out, so I don’t remember much of it and truthfully, I could have been sitting in a park outside the concert all night and wouldn’t know the fucking difference, but when I listened to the album a couple weeks ago, it brought back all these memories of meeting the lead singer before the show and him being quiet and reserved and me thinking to myself that the show is going to suck, then seeing him get on stage and rock the fuck out all while spitting on people. Good times.

Either way, I got tips saying that the band got kicked the fuck out of India because one of them decided to play the guitar with his dick and that’s considered inappropriate in India. So the tour was cancelled and they fled to avoid jail time.

Sure, I don’t know why he’d want to play guitar with his dick, I’d be more inclined to throw my feces on the crowd if I was in their position like some kind of caged monkey, but then I realized they are in India and they like that kind of thing, I mean how else did they get so brown and stinky, rubbing in human feces year after year is really the only explanation.

I got some videos/mp3s/stories for you about the black lips if you’re down. I think they are worth your time and that’s why I did this post. It’s not like I get paid for this shit.

I am not racist, the guy who sells me beer is from India and he’d approve that statement. He’s told me time and time again India smells like shit and I’ve eaten Indian food and know exactly what that does to my asshole/toilet/alley I’m in. It’s all part of their shit bathing plan. Asshole.

Here’s a Video Trailer of their India Tour
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Here’s a Letter they Sent From India Explaining What Happened
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Heres one of their Tracks for You Because the Band is Good
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Posted in:Black Lips|India

2009

05

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

Valentines is coming up and I came across an old notebook I used to write my insanity in and came across a poem you should write in a card for your wife that I wrote.

Wife,

I love the way you cook.
I’ve accepted that you don’t look
the way you used to look
But I’m still down with your book.
And by book I mean vagina.

I don’t really love it.
It definitely smells like shit.
And doesn’t look anything like a slit.
but I am married to it.
and it’s better than jerking my dick.
but not much….

Love,

Husband

Either way, I am not giving my wife shit, she doesn’t deserve any attention, but I am giving you links so click ’em

You May Not Get Laid, But That Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Have a Little Fun
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This Whore Named Lynn is By Far The Best Thing on TV
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Take Your Pic: Which Athletes Wife Would YOU Fuck?
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How to Fight: A Step By Step Guide
(Seriously, This is Good)
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The 9 Hottest Australian Women
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Let’s Laugh At Chinese People Who Can’t Speak English Together
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Mel B Showing Off Her Fit Tits
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Ayla Sky is All Wet
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I Don’t Know About You
BUT I WANNA DANCE!
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This is Michael Phelps Brain on Drugs
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Kendra Wilkinson Does What She Does Best
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She May Be Old, But Damn Rachel Hunter Has a Nice Ass
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Not Sure Who Aishwarya Rai IS And That’s Fine Because I Prefer
To Not Know The Name of the Women I Stalk
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Mischa Barton Has Pretty Much Finished Her Transformation Into a Homeless Person
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This Jessica Simpson Weight Gain Thing is Getting Out of Hand
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Because It’s Cheaper Than Going to a Movie
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Business Meetings Are What You Make Them To Be
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Striptease of the Day
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This Bill O’Reilly / Christian Bale Freak Out Battle is Amazing
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Melissa Wants a Midnight Snack
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Finally a Fashion Trend Even I Can Get Down With
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Fun With a Human Catapault
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If You Don’t Use It, You’ll Lose It
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Sabrina is Secductive and Sexy
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And That’s Why Females Shouldn’t Drive
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Man or Women? You Decide!
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We All Know a Faceplant is Good For a Laugh
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Miss Universe Will Rock You World
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Lesbians In The Shower Make Even My Limp Dick Hard
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There’s No Fucking Way You’re Getting Laid Tonight, Don’t Lie
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How About I Roundhouse Kick You in the FACE?!
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Rachel Bilson is Just Too Perfect
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Celebrity Legs Sex Offs
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And This is Pretty Much the Best Invention Ever Made
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Monica Belucci is Topless
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Lenka’s Lips Are Rad
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Beat the Stuffed Animal Crane Game!! No Shit!
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Jude Law is a Cross Dressing Homo
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Here’s Some More Mac Propaganda For You Nerds Out There
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Water Melon Fucker!
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I Would Totally Bang Mary Kate Olsen
(With a Bag Over Her Head)
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Zombies Attack!!
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Obama’s Reality Show
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Upskirt Video AWesomeness
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The 10 Funniest Celebrity Farts Caught on Camera
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Here are the World’s Most Disgusting Fake Tits
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The Hottest Slut on Model Mayhem….I am Guessing a Product of Lots of Positive Reinforcement
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Some Kid High After Dental Surgery Made me Laugh….
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BONUS – IT’s World Nude Day
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Some Old Jews Telling Jokes
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Girl and Her Vagina
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Sluts
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

04

Feb

Bud Light Porn Ad that Didn’t Air on Superbowl of the Day

Here’s an ad, or what they claim is an actual Bud Light Ad about some dude buying porn at the convenience store. It reminded me of you but you don’t actually buy porn you freeloading asshole. I don’t know if it is actually an ad produced by them or some punks pretending to be Bud Light to be funny, but I am posting it anyway. I figure since Bud Light will never pay me to promote their shit, I might as well do it for free, because I am an idiot.

Posted in:Ad|Bud Light|Superbowl

2009

04

Feb

Kristen Stewart in Some Bikini Picture With Her Brother of the Day

Now I’m not sure if you’ve seen Kristen Stewart’s dad, but I have and based on my opinion of him, and my expert opinion about white trash, poverty and trailer parks, Kristen Stewart and her brother are out half naked on a boat together because they are fucking.

Yes, I realize she’s wearing a pot leaf bikini and that annoys me. It’s probably the lamest thing a pot head can possibly do and anytime I see some pathetic rocker dude with a pot leaf on things ranging from their jacket to their earrings, to tattoos or baseball hates, I take serious fucking offense. Everytime I walk by a head shop and see pot leaf branded products it affects me in a way that brings on a serious hate inside me. We get it dude, you like pot, you can let us all know by letting us smoke on a joint with you, instead of being a total fucking loser about things. That said, Kristen Stewart is a loser.

So the lesson of this post is that Kristen Stewart fucks her brother, comes from trash and is as lame as the fake pot heads you see around parks and in the back of highschool classes who don’t know what gettin’ high’s all about, you doughy, ugly, cunt.

Posted in:Bikini|Brother|Kristen Stewart

2009

04

Feb

Paris Hilton’s BFF Whoring Up for the Cameras of the Day

Paris Hilton’s fabricated friend who will remain nameless because I figure learning a new useless whore’s name is unnecessary when it’s pretty obvious that once the contract is up will fall back into obscurity in her hometown, or maybe back into obscurity in Hollywood chasing that 15 minutes she once had, auditioning for parts, going to events, addicted to a camera that’s not that into her anymore, but I will post her pictures, because watching her pose for the camera and take it in alone on the red carpet, without her boss who owns her, enjoying every second of it like each flash bulb going off is a winning lottery ticket makes me laugh because I know all that’s coming to an end….I guess she can use her new useless whore camera working skills at her family’s Christmas party, because I feel like soon enough, that’ll be the only people who want pics of her and that’s just because they made her and not because they’re proud of her useless accomplishments…

The whole thing may be fucking pathetic but what do you expect from someone who auditioned to be on washed up Paris Hilton’s show, a level of desperation a starving homeless man addicted to crack unable to scrounge up a dollar doesn’t even understand.

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Whore

2009

04

Feb

Jayde Nicole is Getting Fucked By Brody Jenner of the Day

We all know that Brody Jenner is gay, but for some reason he insists to pretend he’s dating this Canadian who made as the Playmate of the Year Jayden Nicole. I heard they are getting married because she needs her green card, but I could be wrong. I don’t think she’s all that hot, but I guess this isn’t about me, but about her.

I came across this piece of information about her that I thought was pretty alarming…..

A prominent feature of her body is a tattoo of the word “respect” in Blackmoor font on her extreme lower abdomen She got the tattoo after leaving a bad relationship to remind herself to not let anyone push her around.

Let this be a warning to you, if you see a girl with a Tattoo on her cunt that says respect, she doesn’t mean speak nicely to her cunt before ramming it. It is a sign of her level of crazy and a reminder that this bitch has baggage. It’s not to say to go soft before terrorizing her box, but to say that some guy used her for sex, broke her heart and she’ll never let it happen again. It’s her way of trying to convince herself she’s not a whore, because she recognized that she was used and needs the permanent reminder to carry around with her for the rest of her fucking life. If you come across this, don’t take it as a joke, this is serious fucking business, that means she’s way to fucking intense for a good time, and will demand a lot out of you, unless you’re an asshole like me, in which case she’d be setting herself up for a new pussy tag/ warning label one that reads “DISEASED”.

Here are some pictures of the pussy Brody Jenner is fucking….the tits he’s sucking and the face he’s probably trying to ignore….because it’s not that of a dude….

Posted in:Brody Jenner|Jayde Nicole|Slut

2009

04

Feb

Some Slut Named Jerri Byrne Naked of the Day

Her name is Jerri Byrne, she’s some UK Glamour Model, they seem to have a lot of big breasted sluts willing to get naked for money, maybe it’s because Jordan’s insane success for being a half naked busty chick inspires them to do the same, or maybe it is because it’s the only way to become famous there, but I think it’s probably because finding a girl worth fucking in England is a challenge, since they are all pasty, grey skinned, bad teeth, unhealthy fat chicks with no style, so when when of these pieces of trash comes along Page 3, FHM and all the other “lad mags” milk them for all their tits are worth and the public responds well, because they work in factories, they live in shitty houses and their lives are spent drunk because they hate their orange haired, bad teeth, grey skinned, lazy wives, and these girls provide hope of a better tomorrow.

Either wy, I’ve never heard of her, but there are too many of these UK bitches to keep track of, and despite having the Queen on our money here in Canada, and having posted a whole bunch of these slags, and the fact that I use the word salg, that’s about as UK as I get.

Some site sent in these exclusive nude shots of this girl, that I doubt are exclusive, so I decided to post them for you because I like naked chicks with fat tits.

Here’s a video of her doing an FHM Shoot for the fuck of it….

Posted in:Jerri Byrne|Naked|Slut

2009

04

Feb

Kristen Bell and Jaime King at Some Fanboys Event of the Day

Here are your two favorite things, blonde chicks with vaginas and Star Wars shit you wish had a vagina, because you love it so much you’d fuck it all night long if it did. It would also make your unhealthy obsession and masturbation to it make more sense to your friends and family, because right now they are a little concerned at how weird it’s got, you know the whole walking around in costume and getting caught in bed with your Wookie glove on. At least with female genitals attached, there’d be some hope.

In the event you didn’t know, these celebrity sluts are not at the event because they like Star Wars as much as you and they are not these super cool dreamgirls and I’m not talking Jennifer Hudson Dreamgirls, I’m talking chicks you can share Star Wars fantasies with and who will never get bored no matter how many hundreds of times you try to throw a Star Wars marathon in your mom’s basement. These girls will judge you based on the fact that you reenact the trilogy in front of the mirror in full costume, since along with pretty much every girl in the world, don’t get the appeal, it actually creeps them out and makes them want to exit any conversation you try to have with them the second you bring up anything socially awkward, virginal and Sci-Fi, like Star Wars. These girls are only at the event because they are getting paid.

But that doesn’t mean this photo-op is any less pornographic to you and your weird ways, because you don’t have to believe they don’t give a shit about nerds and Star Wars and shit, since they’ll never tell you that to your face, because you will never meet them, so let these pictures do whatever it is they do to you, imagine you getting manhandled by a furry creature, or even imagine that you were that fuckin’ furry creature, since they are just fucking pictures.

Either way, I guess this movie is finally coming out so you can finally feel like your life work and passion is validated, but realize that the whole point of it is to make fun of people like you and for the people who are already laughing at you, to laugh harder….

I feel like this is my second public service to socially awkward, sexually frustrated, weirdos. I should be treated like a god by you people. Raise a fucking statue in my honor or something already.

Here’s Kristen Bell….

And Jaime King….

Posted in:Fan Boy|Jamie King|Kristen Bell

2009

04

Feb

KRS-One Political Rant of the Day

KRS has been known to be intelligent hip hop or whatever the fuck it was called back in the day, I never got into the dude that much because I don’t do the whole music thing, I feel like it pollutes the youth.

Anyway, he’s up on stage and he pretty much says that the Obama shit is just a decision based on emotion, happy the racial barrier is broken, but that shit is just smoke and mirrors. So while people are out chanting Obama’s name, caught up in the excitement of his campaign, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a fuckin’ hero and change the world like the American people are convinced of, even though that opinion is based on absolutely nothing.

It’s kinda boring as fuck, not really something I think you’d be down with, but something I’ve been sayin’ all along, that the government is still the fucking politics and too many people have their hands in running shit, the president is just a figurehead and after the hype fades out, after people realize they voted based on a concept, racism and guilt and false hope and not on an actual agenda and people will see that the system is a corrupt prison where the people get raped every fucking day and a black guy with ideas is not going to be able to change what’s already been started and decided.

It’s worth a listen, he seems like he knows his shit and even if there aren’t any tits, KRS-One is on some whole other prophet shit that will get him assassinated, but offers a cool perspective, since he’s black and from the street.

Here’s another video with some Reverend Saying Barack Obama Was Elected By Mostly Black Racists and Guilty White People On Fox News.

Posted in:Freestyle|KRS-One

2009

04

Feb

Jordan Hits Up Toys ‘R’ Us with Her Retarded Fake Tits of the Day

Here’s an obvious bad joke:

So Jordan went to Toys ‘R’ Us to buy her spoiled brat kids some toys while showing of a set of toys she bought for her spoiled brat self.

I figure that’s the angle every other site’s going to take because let’s face it when Jordan goes to Toys ‘R’ Us, there’s nothing much else you can say. I figure that the exposure she got them while exposing her stupid tits warrant a spokesperson deal, you know since this whore has managed to whore out ever other possible venue.

The truth is that if I knew mother’s with tits like that, dressed like that, shopped at Toys ‘R’ Us, I’d spend less time checkin out the little girls in their cute pink little dresses.

But every time I’ve been there, I’ve only seen fat, tired and disgusting mother’s trying to shut their annoying kids out, but truthfully, I usually get escorted out within 5 minutes of being there for simulating sex for a group of kids with random stuff animals, so I’m definitely not an expert on this shit.

Either way, here are her tits and haggard face shopping because you weren’t able to see it live while hiding in the life sized doll house you’ve always wanted but felt to awkward to buy yourself.

Here they are shopping for groceries and in love. It seems like Jordan’s got a wireless mic pack on her back pocket, or maybe it’s some hormone release therapy to keep her from growing her dick back or some shit. I guess this shopping bullshit may be staged for some money making scheme, because everyone knows that Jordan’s the kind of girl who would have someone do it for her, since she is incapable of the simplest tasks in life, like putting on her massive bra, making dinner, or wiping her own ass. But boy can she get titty fucked…..

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Tits|Toys