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Archive for the Bikini Category

2009

23

Mar

Ashton Kutcher Posts Demi’s Ass on Twitter of the Day

5 Comments »

Ashton and Demi were in the Bahamas or some shit similar for Bruce Willis’ wedding to some 22 year old model, because I guess when you area famous, and have a lot of money, can offer the celebrity lifestyle and are fun to be around because you’re not stressed about pretty much anything, since you’ve fucked life up the ass and won, marrying 22 year old models isn’t all that crazy. There is always a slut out there willing, especially for promises of the good life.

Ashton and his mom-wife Demi are weird, Bruce and his Daughter-Wife probably are too, but combined weirdness aint got shit on the weirdness that is Rumer Willis’ face.

Everyone crticizes them for being so close, ex-wives and their boy toys are supposed to hate the ex-husband and their new young pussy, but the fact that they are tight doesn’t bother me, it just makes me think they are all probably fucking each other, I’m talking Ashton in Bruce’s mouth while Demi combs out her bush and the 22 year old model learns how to insert a tampon properly because she just got her period for the first time, or some other weirdness, because I follow this asshole on Twitter, and I can tell something’s a little off with him and his life, but selling out your wife’s ass to get Twitter followers is pretty commendable behavior…

Posted in:Ashton Kutcher|Ass|Bikini|Demi Moore

2009

19

Mar

Gretchen Rossi in a Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

I’ve never seen the Real Housewives of Orange County, but it sounds like some superficial, materialistic bullshit that I think is ruining our world, so that’s why I have no idea who this chick is.

Based on her wikipedia page, she’s 30 and a piece of shit gold digger, who I guess the other vapid cunt housewives take under their old, weathered, labia reduction and other plastic surgery bodies and give her horrible selfish advice, while hating her for having her youth…or some shit….

Here’s what I found out about her….

However, she left the real-estate business after becoming engaged to a wealthy OC executive named Jeff Beitzel, who is 24 years her senior. Jeff has been married and divorced five times and has four adult children. Although Rossi confesses that Jeff was not her “type” and she was not physically attracted to him at first, she calls him her “Prince Charming” and chooses to nurse him after his diagnosis of acute leukemia, until his death on September 13, 2008

After season 4 ended, allegations surfaced that Rossi never had a sincere relationship with Jeff but was instead simply his paid caretaker. It is alleged that Rossi maintained a secret sexual relationship with another man.

I guess this is her other man, and the dead guy was just a tool for ratings, and I don’t understand why any of you idiots would watch this shit. You’re the cause of the fucking problem, this bitch is just a fucking vehicle to communicate crap and I wouldn’t mind my dick being a vehicle she rides, unfortunately, it’s more of a broken down moped rotting in the backyard, and not gonna get her anywhere, if you know what I mean….

Posted in:Bikini|Gretchen Rossi

2009

17

Mar

Katherine McPhee is in a Bikini of the Day

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I remember when Katherine McPhee was coming up on American Idol. She had big tits, was decent to look at compare to Clay Aiken or whoever the fuck was on her season, I’d have to ask Ryan Seacrest but dude’s been ignoring my online sexual harrassment, so I’ll just go with Aiken and I didn’t mind thinking about doing dirty things to her.

I remember when Katherine McPhee had some eating disorder because she was a fat bitch with control issues or insecurity or whatever that magical formula that fucks girls up and causes them to stop eating and get skinny the way I like them.

I remember when she got married to some older dude because she had daddy issues and I figured I could relate, at least with the older dude, because I am all about bringing young busty girls under my wing to take advantage of.

Now despite my prediction that she’d fall off the fuckin’ map you know since she’s some reality star and shit, but apparently all my theories are wrong and she’s filming some movie in a bikini.

That was my relationship with Katherine McPhee recap. Stay tuned for more useless information that isn’t funny.

Posted in:Bikini|Katherine McPhee

2009

16

Mar

Kristin Cavallari Workin’ of the Day

2 Comments »

I was surprised to see these pictures of Kristin Cavallari working, not because I really know who Kristin Cavallari is, but I am under the impression she came up from Laguna Beach, and refused to go on to do The Hills because she was an idiot and had an ego and false concept of her talent and ability based on the inflated success of Laguna Beach. Only to discover that work doesn’t come easy, when you’ve played an idiot on TV while playing yourself and that anything of quality would stay the fuck away from you because you are a liability, joke, and pretty much fucking suck.

But at least Cosmo invited her to hang out at some bikini party in Miami and you know she’s important cuz she got to wear a bikini in a different color than everyone else.

Guess what I was doing this weekend. Fucking nothing. So Kirstin Cavallari is still better than me even though she is useless, so I guess that says a lot about me…

Posted in:Bikini|Kristin Cavallari|Work

2009

12

Mar

Britney Spears’ Bikini Ass Picture of the Day

5 Comments »

These pictures of Britney came out a couple of days ago, but who the fuck cares when they came out. Someone emailed this picture to me and I felt the need to post it and I don’t necessarily know why. It’s probably got something to do with me having no interest in posting or reading my email today, but it probably has something to do with her ass not being tainted with her beat up crusty face.

I guess I should post the video for F-U-C-K-M-E video cuz it is hot.

Here’s some weird Asian version…

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Britney Spears

2009

11

Mar

Eva Herzigova Celebrating Her Birthday in a Bikini Part 2 of the Day

4 Comments »

Since today is a day for celebrations, I figured it’d only be appropriate to post these pictures of Eva Herzigova, some model I’ve never heard of, celebrating her birthday, and since being alive is no jive, this is the best kind of celebration you can have, so throw a bikini, some friends, and a beach and you’ve just added some glorious memories for the scrapbook that is your life. Good fucking times.

Yeah, I know, I don’t care about birthdays, but I’m trying to keep upbeat since 1 hour of sleep fucks with my brain and ability to pretty much do anything.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Birthday|Eva Herzigova

2009

11

Mar

Paris Hilton and Her Skinny Body in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

Posted in:Bikini|Paris Hilton|Sknny

2009

10

Mar

Mélissa Theuriau Topless and Frisky by the Pool of the Day

13 Comments »

Here’s French newscaster Melissa Theuriau in her bikini, showing off some tit, with some pregnant lookin red nipples, and I figured I’d post it because French girls are sluts and I like sluts. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, they are the kind of girl you pick up in a bar, will get wasted with you, makeout with her female friends and let you fuck her up the ass all within knowing her ten fucking minutes and then she’ll leave like nothing happened and be cool with you like you never fucked her up the ass on the first date, and if it was good enough time, will do it again, while other non french girls make shit awkward or try to date you before ever getting near their ass. So that’s why this breed, despite their rumored hairy cunts, need to be celebrated.

Here’s the boners….

Posted in:Bikini|Boners|Melissa Theuriau|Pool|Topless

2009

10

Mar

Kardashian Sister’s Do Bikinis of the Day

9 Comments »

Ever see a monkey in a bikini? Either have I, but think that these Kardashian whores are as close as I am going to get, because unlike Micheal Jackson, owning a chimp’s not really on my list of things I need in life, I figure I already got to change my wife’s diapers for her and that’s bad enough, why bother with the headaches, not to mention those fuckers are strong and violent and when you contact an illegal exotic bet broker, telling them you want the fucker to dress in bikinis doesn’t go over too well, motherfucker charges more for that.

I don’t know where I am going with this, but it looks like Kourtney doesn’t only have a stupid name, but also has stupid tits that I doubt are real.

Posted in:Bikini|Kardashian Sisters|Khloe Kardashian|Kourtney Kardashian

2009

10

Mar

Some Older Bikini Pics of Miss Universe that I Slept On of the Day

2 Comments »

I have no idea how I slept on these week old pictures of Miss Universe at Atlantis in the Bahamas rockin’ out in a bikini, but I did, so I’m trying to make up for lost time by putting them up today.

I have a problem of forgetting to check other sites or bother caring about much other than my own demise, that usually makes great things like this bitch in a bikini slip through my greasy fingers…and when I try to make up for it, it’s usually too late and either goes unnoticed, unappreciated, or just offends the person for trying after making it clear that I just don’t give a fuck..but since she’s has a solid body, shit’s timeless.

The interesting thing in all this is that she’s at the Atlantis Resort and the 2009 Miss Universe Pageant is set to take place that the Atlantis Resort and I have a feeling this shit’s some PR bullshit that Trump, who owns the Miss Universe Pageant’s got up his money grubbing sleave and I just fell for it and I guess I’m okay with that, but would be a lot better with it if I was given free rooms for the fucking free publicity I gave you, it’s fucking winter, I can’t afford heat and I’m cold man…

Posted in:Bikini|Miss Universe