Unsorted Archives - Page 147 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

09

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

I am pretty late on my stepLINKS today, I guess that could be because I am a pretty bad fucking blogger, but it could also be because I post every fucking link I’ve visited today for all you assholes to feel like we are sitting together in a coffee shop surfing the internet together while holding hands, homo.

I didn’t mean to depress all your fucks in the last post, it was written before I went on my nightly walk. I figure that since I don’t have a car, I sweat and my heart races just when I blog, it may be time for me to start trying to walk off the fat that I have landed being married to a pig.

I think this turn in my life will open lots of doors, now that I’ll be able to fit through them without having to turn sideways….

In all seriousness, I am not all that bad, but since I feel like shit everyday and want to have a 7 day drinking binge by the end of the summer – I figure I need to start training…

Some corporate assholes train for marathons, some chachi’s train for pussy, I want to train for binge drinking at 37 years of age…

Today I made it down the block, tomorrow is my day off, but even when I am training, I found the time to made a huge list of links, so click them….NOW.

Sign This Petition Addressed To Gov. Schartznegger To Keep Paris In Jail…PLEASE
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Lohan Showing Off Her Freckled Stomach
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Kate Lawler Picture Moment
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Fat Kelly Clarkson Performing on the Today Show
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Oktoberfest Upskirt Video
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Beyonce’s Wet T-Shirt For Vibe
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FleshFlick – Sex With a Real Estate Agent
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Some Chick Named Selena Spice In Her Underwear and Getting Dressed on Cam
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Rosie O’Donnell To Host the Price Is Right
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Christina Aguilera Allure Photoshoot Video
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Alessandra Ambrosio and Friends Do GQ
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Jade Jagger is Flashing Her Ass
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George Bush Winking at the Queen, Cuz He Wants To Get Fresh With Her – Pervert…
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Insane Sucker Punch VIdeo – Cuz Some People are Assholes
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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The Rest of the Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace Bikini Pics With The Top Off
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Celebrity Upskirt Collection
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Danielle Lloyd – Hot Girl Pictures
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Chicks Having a Piss, Puke and Poop Contest
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Spanish Model Minerva Portillo in Bikini
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Amanda Beard Will Be Naked in Playboy
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Christina Aguilera Parties in Southbeach
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Girls Getting Shot is the Weirdest Fucking Fetish – This Shit Breeds School Shooters
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I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts Cams Girl With INSANE Huge Tits
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K-Fed Gets on Stage in Kentucky and Offers Up His Seed to the Crowd
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Heather Graham Buying Coffee Cuz That’s What People Do
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One Legged Dancer
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Keira Knightley Doesn’t Shower Enough
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Cate Blanchett Looks Fucking Hot
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Kirsten Dunst Thinks She’s Taking Period Family Portraits at the Town Fair or Someshit in this Clown Costume
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Dude Sticks His Dick in the Wrong Hole – Accidentally – Obviously – NSFW
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Some Chick Named Kathy Lee – Playing in the Mud
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Holly Valance Picture Moment
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Keeley Hazell Sweaty Workout Video
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Liv Tyler Grabbing Kurkova’s Tit
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Fire Hydrant Flip
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Hot Spanish GQ Pics
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Cop Throws a Girl Down Hard
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Some Chick Named Holy Getting Naked
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MTV Movie Awards Presenters List
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Shakira Hot in a Purple Wig For a New Video
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Marilyn Manson’s New Video With Some Gothic Sex Scene That Isn’t Hot
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Some Pics of Some Chick Touring With The Pussycat Dolls Named Danity Kane Partying
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Annie Lennox’s Daughter is 16 and Sent this Party Invite to 30 friends…Slut
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Hot on TV Bootyshake
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Paris and Nicole Quotes in Harper’s Bazaar that Hasn’t Hit Newstands Yet
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Britney Was Raped – I am Waiting For Video Proof
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Someone Called 911 on Britney in San Diego…Listen Here….
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NSFW – 70s Porn Clip Called – The Dangers of DP
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Jessica Simpson Got Into the Wrong Limo Last Night Cuz She’s Dumb
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Some Idiot Gets His Ex Wife’s Name Tattoo Sanded Off
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A Whole Lot of Nude Pics that are Artistic
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Rachel Bilson Drinks Jamba Juice
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One of my Reader’s Got Molested By This Middle School Teacher – Girl On Girl Good times…
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Sylvester Stalone on Vacation With His Family… I think He’s Taking His Career a Little Too Seriously
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Buy This Spray For Sex
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Day Dreamin’ of a Topless Bike Ride of the Day

59 Comments »

I checked out my traffic today and it seems like 5 of the 20 people I normally get have stopped coming to the site out of no where. I was trying to figure out why, because I was hoping to make this fucker grow and not shrink and losing 20% of my traffic overnight is pretty fucking major, and all I can come up with is that it’s because summer is here…

I guess it could be because 20% of you realized that the site’s a waste of time, or maybe because my content is pretty weak, or maybe because about 1000 new blogs have popped up and get the content faster than my lazy old timer blogging ass can, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re gone. I also thought maybe the site was banned in offices and schools by another service or someone who used to link me stopped, but I just don’t know why…

In this state of unrest and confusion, I am forced to slip into a day dream of a topless bike ride, because I love it when people are topless, preferably women, but I am not that picky and take what I can get. Enjoy….it only took me 6 hours to edit and upload cuz my computer sucks…

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Day Dreamin' of a Topless Bike Ride of the Day

No Comments »

I checked out my traffic today and it seems like 5 of the 20 people I normally get have stopped coming to the site out of no where. I was trying to figure out why, because I was hoping to make this fucker grow and not shrink and losing 20% of my traffic overnight is pretty fucking major, and all I can come up with is that it’s because summer is here…

I guess it could be because 20% of you realized that the site’s a waste of time, or maybe because my content is pretty weak, or maybe because about 1000 new blogs have popped up and get the content faster than my lazy old timer blogging ass can, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re gone. I also thought maybe the site was banned in offices and schools by another service or someone who used to link me stopped, but I just don’t know why…

In this state of unrest and confusion, I am forced to slip into a day dream of a topless bike ride, because I love it when people are topless, preferably women, but I am not that picky and take what I can get. Enjoy….it only took me 6 hours to edit and upload cuz my computer sucks…

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Mel B Upskirt of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Mel B almost showing a post pregnancy upskirt, because she did just have a baby that she claims is Eddy Murphey’s about a month ago. Reality that her post pregnancy fat thighs rubbing together and not the gateway to her empty womb, like you want. I was talking to a friend about the concept of Fuck Friends the other day. Usually, the kind of girl who wants a fuck friend is not the kind of girl who gets emotionally vested in banging, which means she can have all the one night stands her heart desires while you’re at home playing xbox, waiting for her phone call to invite you over to bang, which she only does on Sundays or Mondays because those nights aren’t spent at the club….Or she’s the kind of girl who does get emotionally vested in banging, leaving you with a girlfriend after the tenth time you bang, or when she finds out you had a one night stand. All this to say it never really works out your way, because girls can get sex a lot easier than guys, and that is probably why Mel B doesn’t know who her daddy is, like an episode of Maury.

I saw these pictures without the upskirt shot at some point last week and wrote about a Spice Girls Reunion party or some shit, you can check it out HERE, if you have nothing better to…

Posted in:Mel B - Scary Spice|Melanie Brown|Panties|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

08

May

I am – Celebrities Showing Off Their Tits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala of the Day

2 Comments »

I am all for girls rocking cleavage shirts because I am a pervert and this site has given me a keen eye for spotting nipple slips. I was standing outside a bar, hoping a drunk guy who came out for a cigarette and accidentally drop his wallet the other day, and a group of hot chicks walked out with low cut shirts on, I guess it’s in style to show off your rack and I am not really complaining. One of them conveniently dropped something and when she went to pick it up her shirt dropped and I saw full fucking massive tit, while the other guys next to me missed it. It reminded me of when I was 12 and my foster mother used to come give me talks about God before I went to bed. She’d be in her night gown while I’d be lying in bed. She’d bend over to tuck me in, full tit exposed and I’d totally get a boner and jerk off to it the second she walked out. I always got scared that God was watching me, then I realized that if he was, he was a total pedophile and I might as well give him a good performance, because let’s face it, if I get him to get off when I was 12 only good things would be coming to me….I was wrong…

I am guessing that these celebrities are thinking the same thing, they are advertising their tits at some exclusive black tie event I wasn’t invited to, so that people like us fall into their booby trap…get it..I am so witty and that is good enough for you to start your day to….you’re welcome…

Jessica Simpson May Be Busted But Her Tits are Fucking Huge

Lohan May Be Distracting Us From Her Cocaine Video, But At Least She’s Doing it Properly, this shit will even get Disney to Sign Her Again

Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Full of Milk and That’s Pretty Much What I Wish All My Diet Consisted Of…

Jennifer Garner is Post-Pregancy and Her Tits Have Dried Up, But I’d Still Try To Get the Last Drops Out of Her

Rose McGowan has Always Had Hot Tits

Christina Ricci May Look Old and Beat Up and Her Tits May Have Been Reduced But She’s Still Packin’ Heat.

Scarlett Johannson Still Has Tits and I am Still Lookin’ At Them

Julianne Moore is the First Fire Crotch I Ever Saw in a Movie and Will Always Hold a Warm Place in My Heart for Proving that Myth Isn’t a Myth….

Rosario Dawson’s Tits Look Small But Small Titis are Tits Too…

Juliette Lewis is a Crackhead and Crackheads Don’t Have Tits, But She’s Still Trying…

I Don’t Really Give a Fuck About Mischa Barton But Whatever This is Still Cleavage…

Alicia Keys Has a Hairy Chest, So I Don’t Know If She Counts, But Even Men With Tits Count in Your World, Cuz You Are Desperate…

A few new ones…

I think Ivanka Trump Looks Awesome….I’d wallet-fuck her…

Karolina Kurkova Models Bikinis and I like Bikinis, Especially when they are on me, I feel so pretty…

Gisele isn’t with Victoria’s Secret Anymore, She’s Not a Hot as She Used To Be, But She Has Done A Lot in Her Panties and That Pretty Much Redeems Her….

2007

08

May

I am – Britney Spears Comeback Tour in Vegas Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

These are some shitty cellphone pics of Britney Spears lip syncing in Vegas as part of her attempt at a comeback, the show may have been a rip off and she may be insane now, but she’s still Britney Spears and at least she’s showing off her ass to distract us all from how lame this attempt to climb out of the gutter and back to the top of her game is.

I am costantly attacked by feminists, telling me how what I do is comparable to racism and that I am leading a horrible example to the 20 people who read the site, and I guess saying that at least Britney is showing us her ass fall into that category of objectifying women.

Reality is, I am not the motherfucker on stage showing the world my fucking ass, and if I was, I’d expect someone to comment on how fat it is. I have spent a lifetime trying to seduce girls and not being rich enough, or goodlooking enough, forcing me to end up with someone no one wanted, not even me, but the comfort of having someone there to care was enough for me to do it. You don’t see me sitting here hating on all the hot chicks for not wanting me, or thinking I was scum, in all reality, I am here begging for them to send me nudes.

So, what it all comes down to, is that I just want to have a good time, maybe have a few laughs, and talk a whole lot of shit about nothing important. If you are one to take my words for gospel and either take it home with you to throw at your own fat wife that you settled with, or who got fat after she hooked you in and was too tired to keep herself pretty, or if you are sitting there getting offended by what I have to say, all you have to do is click on the back button in your browser and leave your rants to your fucking self, because people that are that uptight, are people I don’t want to invite to my birthday party or to my comeback show at a shitty small venue….and if you motherfuckers decide to show up with camera phone pics, and decide to write slandering remarks about me, I am not going to cry about it and write a thesis for my gender studies class on how hard people are on me for having a cock.

2007

08

May

I am – Lohan is Obviously a Drug Addicted Party Slut of the Day

3 Comments »

This bitch is slowly starting to look like Chris Farley before he died of a cocaine overdose. She’s bloated as fuck and her face is hanging off. Her eyes have fucked up yellow bags under them and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days. I have slept with crack whores and I know what to look for. I am just hoping this bitch doesn’t die, because I’d have no one else to stalk…

I was walking down the street today and some drunken homeless guy who looked like Lohan was sitting on a city bench screaming for change from people passing by. He even asked me and I looked more homeless than he did. I think it was because he was wearing some kind of old man hat that made him look like a detective while I was just in my regular jogging pants. Anyway, all motherfucker did was sit there and yell and everyone who walked by him and obviously no one was giving him shit. So I took the asshole aside and told him that if he wanted to make some money, all he needed was some kind of act, whether it be a song or a dance or juggling or anything. If people saw him trying, they’d be more inclined to give him cash. The asshole just spat in my face and I am sure gave me some kind of Hepatitis like I was Pam Anderson, but when I walked by him an hour later, he seemed to take my advice. A group of highschool girls were walking by him and he fully dropped his pants and started jerking off for them. They ran away screaming and even though I thought he went a little too far, I was happy to see him make an effort. I think I felt the joy a teacher experiences when their troubled student graduates highschool. or what a coach feels when his weakest player makes his first goal. It was pretty fucking nice…Unlike these pics of Lohan looking haggard and on the verge of death…But I would still K-Fed her if I was cool enough to be her back-up dancer….

2007

07

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I don’t really remember what I did today. I was pretty burnt out. I accidentally ate liquid paper and thought I was dying, but realized that everytime I did street drugs, I was probably consuming a hell of a lot worse household products than shit they give little kids in school. I still decided to sleep it off, but that doesn’t mean I was too busy for my links…But first read what I wrote to Kimmy Stewart on Myspace, before it got deleted….

Kimmy,

You’ve probably never heard of me, but I like to tell people that I am famous on the internet because it is overcompensation for my small penis and shitty life.

I just listened to your song – When I Make Love I Was Thinking of You….

I wanted to ask if you wrote that to your liver while banging Joe Francis, because that fucker wronged you by being diseased and incapable of processing your booze, forcing you to make irrational decisions, like raw dogging him and landing you Herpes?

Just curious! Can’t Wait to see the video. Hit me up sometime.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are my links….

Turns Out Kimmy Stewart is a Singer and This is Her Demo Song
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Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson in a Bikini
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Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller having Fun On Set
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Paris Hilton and Her Mom Talk About Her Going to Jail on Video
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A Whole Lot of Celebrity Ass
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Maggie Gyllenhaal Breastfeeds in Public
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Intense Cameltoe Video
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Penelope Cruz Sex Scene
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Petra Nemcova Side Tit Shot
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Sofia Loren’s Huge Old Tits
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Some Photographer with Nude Pics I Like – He’s Mexican
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Pete Wentz Opened a Club in NYC and His Marketing Campaign is that you Can Have Sex in the Bathroom because he only has Sex with Ashlee Simpson while in the bathroom taking a shit, she’s hasn’t quite got hot enough for the bed….Here’s a Video of The Club Bathroom…
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The 2 Sides of Fergie
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David Beckham Gaying Out Hard at a Soccer Game
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Hasslehoff is Banned From Seeing his Kids because of the Drunk Video
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Remember Rachel Bilson, Here She Is Lookin’ Hot
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Highschool Food FIght
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Some Girl Named Fancine Dee Shaking Her Ass on Camera at a Party…
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Tyra Banks in a Bikini for Shape Magazine
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Tyra Banks in NYC Lookin’ Like Shit, Not Just Because She’s Brown…
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Melanie Griffith is Lookin’ Busted and Old, Like a Catcher’s Mitt
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Ty from Extreme Home Makeover Got Arrested
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Anna Nicole Unseen Interview about Prescription Drugs
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Amateur Party Girls Getting Naked
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Geek Porn that Isn’t That Geeky
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The Orgasm Gun Performance Video
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Rachel Bilson Topless Sex Scene
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Some Czech Model Naked and Posing
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Guy Takes a Fake Piss on People on the Lazy River Ride at the Waterpark
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart – NSFW
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Amazing Cutting Off Panty Video
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Paris Smoking a Joint at Coachella
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Kimberly Stewart in Her Underwear Posing
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Little Kid Playing With a Cobrasnake, Not the Hipster Kind…
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Some Cam Girl Named Luna All Naked and Doing Cam Girl Things
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Eva Longoria Dresses Like Hayden Panettiere
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Hayden Panettiere Showing Off Her Huge Guns
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Claire Danes Showing Off Her Fat Tits…and by Fat Tits I Mean Non Existent Tits
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I may have linked this one already, but it is The Superficial Friends Cartoon Featuring Cunt Perez Hilton’s Voice…
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Some Pics of a Naked Pregnant Chick
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Almundena Fernandez in her Lingerie
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Shot By Kern is a VBS Video About a Nude Photographer Named Richard Kern and Bitches He Takes Pics Of…
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Car Racer Danica Patrick Will be Non-Nude in Playboy
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Some Band Called Fountains of Wayne have a Video Featuring The Dude from The Daily Show Named Demetri Martin….
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New Lilly Allen Video – Because I Hate Her
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Some Hot Lingerie Photoshoot Video
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Brittany Murphey Married an Old Man
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You can’t get laid – Try This – It Works
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

07

May

I am – Jannel Syzyska Story Set Straight of the Day

2 Comments »

So I posted about some Girls Gone Wild bitch who claimed she was a virgin and that Joe Francis raped her a long time ago. The post can be found HERE , ignore all the spam in my comments…it happens.

Anyway, I was checking my email and I got some inside scoop on the slut that I felt like I needed to post. I can only assume it’s her friend trying to get more buzz going about her in hopes of landing a porn video gig or a penthouse magazine spread, but I’ll still post it because I never get any scoop and when I do, it makes me feel like a real media company….and sometimes pretending you’re not a waste of internet space is a good thing….

So, I just recently came across an article in the L.A. times about Jannel Syzyska, and about how Joe Francis “raped her”.

I used to be pretty good friends with Jannel, (in the early pre-whore days – seventh grade to be exact.) but when an unfortunate incident involving her and her friend Kaitlyn stealing my underwear occurred, we lost touch, so to say.

Then last year, one of my friends became close friends with Jannel, and I started showing up to parties that she happened to be at and so on..

So Jannel and I got kind of close again, and she revealed to me everything about her, one tidbit being that she had lost her virginity in April to some guy she doesn’t even remember. And she revealed that she did not want to have sex with anybody for a long time because of the fact that she had had sex with quite a few guys since then…

So when I finally did come across this yesterday, I was shocked. I’ve lost touch with her since the beginning of last June.. but in November of last year I had seen her a few times through a mutual friend.. and she had told me that she “went on girls gone wild and masturbated for the camera.” However, she said that she had HAD SEX with Joe Francis, not that he “raped her.”

I know I’m quite late on a story like this.. but I figured I would set the record straight (as if it hadn’t been set straight enough) that she did have sex with him, he did not rape her, and she was not a virgin.

I had no idea that she was all over the internet with her “rape story” or I would have definitely set that straight sooner.

Yes, Joe Francis isn’t the epitomy of class and charm.. but I’m sure he has the opportunity to have sex with much better looking girls without forcing them. So why he would even force sex onto someone like Jannel is baffling.

I don’t know why I felt compelled to write you this e-mail when it was so long ago, and you probably won’t read or respond really, but that enrages me that she would seek fame that much to make up stories.

Thanks for your time and sorry to rant, but I just had to.

All that to say…who really gives a fuck…Cuddles.

2007

07

May

I am – Ashley Hartman from the O.C. in a Carl’s Jr. Ad of the Day

42 Comments »

So Carl’s Jr. had a commercial featuring criminal Paris Hilton in a car wash and it gave everyone a fucking boner except me – because I can’t get boners. It seems like they are back with a new commercial featuring some girl from the OC named Ashley Hartman and she looks pretty tight bodied, but not the kind of tight body I witnessed at the strip club this afternoon. The bitch was one of those body builder chicks with biceps that put most men to shame and a back as wide as a pick-up truck. I think I wrote about how I wanted to pay her to arm wrestle me last summer, but never did it because I was scared she’d get offended and use her testosterone imbalance induced rage on me. I guess what the real issue in the whole thing was that when she was crawling on all fours her ass looked hot in contrast to her jacked legs….I don’t know where I am going with this, but I am pretty sure that the Carl Jr. Ads are worth watching while you try to figure out why you just wasted your time reading this post. It’s pretty safe to say that I am losing my edge.

I HAD TO TAKE IT DOWN BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE GETTING ANNOYED THINKING I GOT PAID TO POST THIS…I DON’T GET PAID FOR SHIT….
HERE’S THE VIDEO FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO SEE IT

Posted in:Ad|Ashley Hartman|Slut|The OC|Unsorted

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