I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

15

Jul

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson Porn of the Day

The other day, I was talking to a girl and the conversation turned to porn, as it often does with me. Not because I actually like porn, but because people just assume I am the worst porn site on the internet and label me as a porn site, because porn is the only thing that supports what I do, while mainstream is too pussy to show me some love.

We were talking about what porn that I would produce porn would be like and one of us suggested that I do Hannah Montana porn starring her, and I thought the whole thing was a great ideal, until I realized she was 14 and creeped the fuck out because some random dude started chatting her up allegedly asking her to star in Hannah Montana porn, but from what I remember it was all her doing, but try convincing the cops of that….

Either way, Hustler beat me to the parody shit and produced this Lohan/Ronson shit that isn’t really believable, but still pretty fuckin’ funny.

Here’s the hardcore Trailer…..

I believed this sex parody up until the second I saw Sam Ronson in a pair of women’s panties, everyone knows that she wears boxers so all credibility went to shit, not to mention the “real” Lohan’s tits are far better than this slut, her vagina is far more weathered and used, her eyes are more glassed over/high, and her face isn’t so fresh faced which is kinda depressing when you’re being compared to a ghetto porn slut, but other than that I feel like I’m in some kind of other dimension where I can’t tell who is the real Lohan and who is the fake one….and I guess we all know what Ronson’s gonna be masturbating to while on the road.

Here are some pictures of the “real” Lohan the other day….

And some more pictures of the “real” Lohan

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Porn|Sam Ronson

2009

15

Jul

Some 90210 Trash on the Beach Almost in Bikinis of the Day

The aspiring actors who are doing their training on the set of 90210 in some kind of paid internship were shooting on the beach, because they aren’t real actors yet, but they sure as hell are trying to be.

They weren’t wearing their bikinis, but Annalynne brought her monkey lookin’ ass out in something that shows off her skinny stomach, which is something some of you girls out there should look at closely then stand in front of a mirror to compare to what your stomach, to realize why she is on TV and you’re not, you fat piece of shit.

This Annalynne bitch proves everyday that you don’t have to have looks to get ahead, you just have to not be a fatass. So all you young girls take that in and think about it the next time you go out for ice cream you fuckin pigs. The only way a fat chick would get on 90210 would be to be made fun of by the skinny chicks and no one wants to be that girl.

Bonus – Here are other phony actors on the set of Gossip Girls trying to show the 90210 chicks up. They need to fight in a lesbian fisting death match….because Hollywood’s not big enough for this much talentless pussy…

Posted in:90210|Annalynne McCord|Beach|Bikini|Trash

2009

14

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I saw Bruno. It was uncomfortable. Not because I am a homophobe. Or because he gets himself in awkward situations. Or even because it was pretty much like watching Borat but because I had a boner the entire time. Maybe I’m gay like these girls or maybe I am just lying…on all fours…ready for you…mister man…truth is I think dude’s fucking insane…and I am all gayed the fuck out by seeing too much gay and the real discomfort in the theater was watching all the weird chachi dudes lookin nervously at each other cuz they liked what they saw and weren’t too sure how to incorporate a catch phrase from the movie into their everyday life while stayin’ macho…bro. There was no Wawawewa or Me Like or It’s Nice or whatever the fuck else they pulled from Borat and dropped in bars every fucking night for months and fucking months…and then there’s the whole Halloween shit we’re gonna have to deal with….everyone dressed like fuckin’ Bruno….like they did for Bruno so I guess that means it is just the fuckin’ beginning…all while Sasha Baron Cohen counts the fuckin’ benjamins….

Here are my stepLINKS.

John Plus His Whore Plus Viagra are Making Their Rounds Around the World
GO

Future Ex Wife Shows Off Her Clevage
GO

Selita Banks Makes High Heels Look Good – VIDEO
GO

Some UK Actress is Showing Off Her Tits
GO

There’s No Way This Harry Potter Kid Isn’t a Fag
GO

Hot//Sweaty//Sexy
GO

Barely Legal: The 10 Hottest 90s Babies
GO

Some Amazing French Canadian sluts at some radio station beach party.
GO

Legendary footballer Gazza’s daughter takes her clothes off for ZOO
GO

This is a Busty Fucking Young Girl….
GO

This World of Warcraft Kid is Really Getting Out of Hand… – VIDEO
GO

HOw About a T & A Party
GO

5 Terribly Awesome Examples of Porn Acting
GO

She Used to Have a Wang, But Yeah I’d Still Bang Her
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Sandra Bollock and I Both Agree That She Should Get Naked Again
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

She May Be Desperate, But I’d Still Bang Jennifer Aniston
GO

You Know I’m Not So Into Pregnant Chicks, But I Gotta Say Adriana Lime is Looking Hot
GO

Diana and Deluna Get It On
GO

Rosario Dawson, Will You Marry Me?
GO

Surprise!! One of the Cunts on Big Brother is a Racist Fuck – VIDEO
GO

How About some Alessandra Ambrosio
GO

Dannii Minogue Gallery
GO

Katy Fey is in Stockings
GO

Nipple Slip Compilation
GO

A Scary, Scary Pole Dance
GO

Brooke Likes to Play With Herself
GO

And The Stupidest Idea of the Day Goes To…
GO

Christian Bale Must Be a Real Good Actor, Cause he Seriously Looks Like a Crackhead
GO

De-Robed on TV – VIDEO
GO

Karolina Kurkova is Pregnant
GO

Liv Tyler is Pretty Hot When She Wants to Be
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Back Yard Orgy
GO

Eleonora is a Joy
GO

Hot Chicks on Roller Blades Are All sorts of Awesome
GO

Violet Gets Naked Just For Fun
GO

Hole in One for Marketa
GO

Demi Jessica is a Playboy Babe
GO

An Afternoon Pick Me Up
GO

I Hope for The Sake of Everyone Janet Jackson Gets Custody of Michael’s Kids
GO

She’s Got a Secret Admirer
GO

And You Thought The Sluts You Knew Were Good…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

14

Jul

Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian and Pam Anderson Doing Some Burlesque Shit….of the Day

This video is annoying but you can see Carmen Electra in a thong, or Kim Kardashian dressed like a slutty sailor. I think the whole pinup burlesque shit is designed for fat, ugly girls who can’t make it as real models, but Carmen Electra is still hot even though she’s old. Kim Kardashian not so much…

Posted in:Burlesque|Carmen Electra|Kim Kardashian|Pam Anderson

2009

14

Jul

Ridiculous Booty Video of the Day

The world needs more ridiculous booties. I don’t know who this girl is but she’s a fucking pig and it’s so fucking disgusting that I want to violate it in ways I shouldn’t then throw up on the fucking thing while watching it slap up against my fuckin’ belly…

Posted in:Booty Video

2009

14

Jul

Andrea Bocelli and Veronica Berti on the Beach of the Day

It seems like kind of waste that a blind dude would be engaged to a body like this considering he can’t actually see her and doesn’t have to stare at her face all fucking day. I always thought ugly chicks were designed for the blind and the whole reason blindness existed was to give disgusting bitches hope, but throw in some fame, money and a voice of an angel, and all of a sudden his disability becomes totally irrelevant and she can see past it, while he can’t see past much, but at least has a some hot tits and a fat ass to play with and here she is in a bikini….

Sure girls in bikinis are exciting, at least more exciting than girls fully clothed, I mean depending on the girl, because no matter how perverted I am, there is some pussy I like to keep off fuckin’ limits because seeing it is bad for my fuckin’ soul. But I find the whole bikini thing a little played out and I am only a new fetish and that’s getting down to 1920s style bathing suits but that’s just cuz I used to jerk off to my granny’s vacation pics when I would spend my summers with her as a 12 year old boy discovering myself…..I mean, Damn these are some hot pics….

Posted in:Andrea Bocelli|Beack|Bikini|Veronica Berti

2009

14

Jul

Aubrey O’Day is Turning into Beyonce of the Day

Aubrey O’Day is posting pics from her Paper Mag cover shoot that I guess she’s currently at on twitter. I found it weird that she’s lookin’ like she’s black. Now I love black chicks, I just don’t like white chicks who pretend to be black chicks. They are tacky pieces of trash who deserve to be stomped out by black girls for stealing their men, since black dudes love all things white….

I guess she’s realized the color of her target market’ so she’s gone out and got her ass fatter than ever, she’s got her skin darker than ever, and I guess that’s the magic formula to become the white chick every black dude wants to fuck, but up until now, I thought just having a vagina was all you needed.

I guess the real unfortunate thing in all this is being called Beyonce, because Beyonce is disgusting and that’s a dis worse than unexpected sodomy in a back alley….

Posted in:Ass|Aubrey O'Day|Black|Fat|Tits

2009

14

Jul

Some Chastity Bono Pussy for the Weirdos of the Day

If you’re into pussy that’s on it’s last legs, you know pussy that’s about to take it’s final breath, you know when you walk down the hallway of the cancer ward of the hospital and you feel a little quiver in your pants, or when you look at pre-op female to male tranny who you know have serious mental issues just based on the size of their jeans, who insist on growing a dick, because their dad was too busy skiing into trees and their mom was too busy being a whore to give her the love she needed growing up, creating this serious baggage that makes her want to sew her pussy up and grow a fuckin’ dick, or maybe she just realizes that it’s a man’s world and it’s finally time to command respect out of the world, instead of being paid less and objectified for having a set of oddly shaped tits, and figured since she already looked 3/4 of the way dude, it was the logical fuckin’ step, or maybe it’s gotta do with her being tired of the hardships lesbian couples face every time they leave the house holding lesbian hands in their construction boots and flannel shirts eating organic granola bars when people like me point, laugh and throw dick shaped objects at them, because I know they are just uptight rape victims guys don’t even wanna fuck to begin with, and not actual lesbians, cuz actual lesbians don’t exist….

Posted in:Chastity Bono|Pussy

2009

14

Jul

Hayden Panettiere in a Virginal Topless Scene of the Day

People are making a big deal about this new movie called Beth Cooper where Hayden Panettiere was wrongfully cast to be the hot chick in the school, which would really only happen in the North Pole, and toy making school, where midgets and trolls are the norm, not that a place like that actually exists and either does Santa Claus, unless you count the pedophile in the mall with a boner in his red suit loving every second of his minimum wage job.

This is the kind of topless scene that would only get a virgin fan excited, which I guess is convenient since 98% of Hayden Panettiere’s fans are virgins and the ones who aren’t are just victims of being molested who really like the show Heroes.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Topless|Virgins

2009

14

Jul

Holly Madison and Her Garden Gnome Cock of the Day

I am guessing this is not Travelocity’s new ad campaign encouraging safe sex while traveling where instead of fucking the shit out of local pussy/hookers you should find yourself some inanimate object to stick in your ass while jerking off, but I am not too sure what it is, maybe star fucking for a has been Playboy Model/Hefner Contract wife has gone down hill, and the only old famous phallus you can find is found in your neighbor’s trailerpark garden when you are on a drunken desperate search to get back into the limelight, that reminds me of many nights I’ve ended up in random yards, or in bed, hugging random things that I’ve brought home with me, like the night I woke up in the arms of Black Lawn Jockey , covered in puke, or maybe she’s just trying to be funny, either way, at least she’s in lingerie, because as we all know, that’s all she has going for her…and even that is fading…so if you’re a Holly Madison fan, you best enjoy it when you can.

Posted in:Garden Gnome|Holly Madison|Husband