I am always amazed when I remember that Kate Beckinsale’s got a kid. I’m sure she found the shit on the side of the road, or maybe it was her dying drug addict sister’s who needed a home, because it makes no sense to me that shit grew inside of her and ripped its way out of her, her body is too tight.
My only issue with Kate Beckinsale or giving her love for lookin’ good is that it makes me feel like a virgin werido who collects action figures because she did some movie that I’ve never seen called Underworld, but apparently every dude who can’t get pussy has and have since plastered their walls with her picture and name their pet iguana after her and shit.
Here she is leaving the gym in leggings or some shit.
If you’ve been to the site before, which for your sake I hope you haven’t, because even while I write it, I know it is just a waste of time and noise that you can easily turn off by blocking the site in your browser, but if you have been to the site before, you’ll know that I can’t stand Ashley Tisdale or her face.
I don’t know what it is about her, maybe the fact that she’s 30 and pretends to be a highschool student, that shit has always fucked with my head though and maybe I should take shit up with Disney and ask them to stop kidnapping the underdeveloped kids and casting them in their shows, and instead get them the proper hormonal treatment they deserve.
I also hate that her face doesn’t deserve to be on TV, yet she walks around like some kind of celebrity, and for the sake of humanity, I think someone needs to tell her otherwise, because if you never give a cunt a reality check, or a reminder that she’s still that awkward big nosed scrawny twat no one wanted to fuck with, and just because teenage girls everywhere think you’re a god and you have a little money, doesn’t mean you aren’t the piece of shit you know you are deep down inside….
Here she is in a bikini in some stills from some movie she was in because executives see dollar signs and not the truth. Unfortunately, dude didn’t drop her on her head or “accidentally” drown her, I feel that’d be her hottest look….
Marisa Miller is a bikini model because of her body so that’s what we should be focusing on because whatever the fuck is going on with her hard, leathery, old lookin’ face, reminds me of some ex-prostitutes I was in NA with a couple of years ago. It’s like this bitch started out with a set of fake tits, two 10 pound dumbells, a tanning machine and a fuckin’ dream and she made it, but time isn’t on her face’s side, shit is melting into some kind of weird, but I’m definitely on her body’s side, shit is done proper, so she needs to embrace her place in the world and get in a little less dress and a little more bikini, but at least we get a taste with them legs…
Lindsay Lohan went undercover for some photoshoot, because I guess her new strategy to the tp is to be disguised so no one recognizes her as that crazy teenager who liked to party a little too much and fuck a few too many dudes to fill the void her parents made in her soul, so not only is she denouncing her past by being a “lesbian” but she’s also wearing wigs so I don’t know what the fuck is going on, and it is a lot like this girl I used to know who had a gambling problem. She was forced to work weekends as an escort to pay off her debt because her 9 to 5 job wasn’t cutting it, and to live with herself she’d put on a costume, so that when the costume was on she was this total whore, but the second it came off she was a mom and wife again. It was fucked and I doubt way more complex than Lohan in these pictures, I think the truth is that she’s supposed to be pullin’ some Marilyn Monroe shit, because her and Monroe have so much in common, like their dead vaginas.
On a side note, I like Lindsay Lohan again. She has redeemed herself and I plan on helping her get her career back, at least more than a shitty Vogue Magazine. I’d tell you my secret, but then you’ll just snake her from me, leaving me forced to listen to my fat wife panting until one day I give up and jump off the balcony, only to become paralyzed because along with everything in my life, I am not good at getting things I set out to do accomplished and I can only assume that luck will spill over into suicide.
Sometimes when I leave my house I just crave topless dancers and every girl who I walk by, I imagine what they would look like naked, what their capabilities on stage would be, like whether they would would be shy at first and slowly warm up, or if they would be the kind of girl who just goes buck fucking wild, or the girl you think would be wild but slowly parades herself like she’s at a slave auction, only instead of being good at getting beat into pickin’ cotton and other chores, she’s good at not killing herself after being degraded by men all day.
All this to say that I think of topless dancers a lot and never have I thought about whatever the fuck is goin on in this video and I guess that’s what makes it a stepDAYDREAM. Enjoy.
I am not drunk yet and that is a travesty. I’ve been in bed tending to my male yeast infection all night. That’s not entirely true. I just tell girls it’s a male yeast infection cuz it sounds more appealing than Aids Lesion. I don’t know what I am talking about, I just know tonight is the night dreams are made of, let’s just hope your dreams don’t involve hunting me down and killing me violently and painfully.
Here are my stepLINKS.
Rene Zelwegger Forgot to Put on a Shirt….Why? I Don’t Know, But I do Blame Tom Cruise! That Jerry Maguire Shit was the Devil….. GO
I know a maintenance man in Boston who was at working at some conference and Pam Anderson was one of the “stars” who was there promoting some bullshit product and doing some autograph signing/meet and greet/ anything for money and dude told me she looked like a haggard piece of expired meat you find in the back of your fridge, not sure if you’ll die if you eat it, so you just throw it out and this motherfucker is known to have pretty bad fuckin’ taste in women, making me think the disgusting mess you see in these pictures, is only a fraction of the disgusting mess she actually is, as pictures tend to know show off the plastic surgery scar or scent of AIDS.
I am not sure why she’s with some chachi 14 year old soccer lookin’ dude, maybe it’s her son with Tommy Lee, who is clearly really fuckin’ rock and roll, like his dumpster parents, I mean if rock and roll was Homosexulaity on the beaches of Greece…
Here she is at some Press Conference….and by “she” I mean here are her hard nipples at a Press Conference….
The great thing about being the black guy all the white girls want to fuck from CSI is that all the white girls still want to fuck you when you are on the beach, especially when you are with some hot bodied bitch in her bikini, because girls are catty and competitive and want whatever the other girls want, or whatever the other girls have and they put up a fucking fight for the shit not caring if the bitch they are steppin up on is their best friend or not.
So if you want to have the best sex in your life, you need to hire a whore to follow you around all night, acting like you are sent from fucking god, so other girls jump in to try to win you away from the bitch, but that really only works if they recognize you from TV or are rich, because girls are groupies, and don’t fight for nobodies who have acne and smell like cum from all the chronic masturbation problem.
Rosario Dawson who was known to have fatty tits, seems to have fatty everything else. Maybe she’s staring in some movie about a fat chick, or maybe she’s just let herself go cuz she’s found love and is dating this motherfucker. She’s not disgusting just yet, at least not on the surface, for all I know she could have a rotting cunt, like the stripper I had my way with last night who although had a doughy stomach made for mother’s of three and an ass that looked like a burn victim and smelled like a septic tank, her tits were spectacular. Only difference is my stripper knew how to dance, while Rosario Dawson just sits there lookin like she’s made it, forgetting her roots as a poor immigrant squatting in NYC, unfortunately not the kind of squatting I can masturbate to….
Here she is in her bikini…
Even her boyfriend is shocked how fat his chick’s ass has gotten….he’s thinkin’ that someone’s gotta stop feeding her and it’s not gonna be him cuz he’s too busy riding her coattails and fuckin’ her wallet.
And here’s her friend’s ass….
And here are some boring pictures of Rosario Dawson and her boyfriend walking….if you’re not too into the bikini pictures above….
You don’t know awkward like surfing the net for Kayden Kross porn because I love her and coming across a live broadcast from May where her and her stunt cock are talking about me.
I have no memory of ever asking her to ask me to marry her, considering I am married, but I guess that could be something I would do, even though I’d rather just take her out to dinner and a movie and treat her like the lady I know she is behind that whole pornstar front.
So even though her marriage proposal wasn’t sincere, it’s nice to know she likes me for being an asshole because I like her for having an asshole or at least a vagina she treats like an asshole by lettin’ all kinds shit get caught up in it, even though it’s a premium luxurious delicacy that should only be savored by me. Even though the most Luxurious thing I’ve ever had was jar of brand name mustard.
